last day of class
2006-05-11 - 12:19 p.m.
dream, 2nd_week_without_cigarettes. wake up in a blue room, on a comfy bed, it is apparent to me that i wasnt actually asleep before this, its just where the dream starts. the room is decorated a little fancy for a college dorm girl, well organized with oversized tupperware and plastic shelves, but on the walls is some rather amazing artwork, none of which i can remember to any detail. one in particuar, above the bed, i will call painting_A. the water stops running in the shower and i realize i dont know who i am, where i am, or whose bra that is on the other edge of the bed. i quickly glance through some mail on the desk and realize her name is something that starts with a D. she comes around the corner in jeans and a white tank top, no bra, and i think "32 B". her hair doesnt look very good wet but shes cute and i assume we have some sort of romantic relationship. i used her name and said something to the effect of "we havent been out in while, would you like to go to a museum or something, look at some artwork?" she replies back something about working on homework, and the way she says it discounts my earlier assumption. fast forward to after we are done studying for whatever it was. i am walking by myself through an art museum of some sort, and i at some point realize that in this dream i am FELLING things. this included tactile sentation, equilibrioception and proprioception and it was so odd to experience in a dream that i actually conducted some in-dream tests to see what i was experiencing. the artwork was amazing, but i cant remember a damn thing until i went into the basement and a sort of tour guide oppened a door, revealing a southern baptist church, halleluya!s and all. the guide insists that i should go in and be saved, but i refuse, because i know ill get up front and someone will hit me in the head to knock me over and call me "saved". he starts spoutin some shit about how im a hipocrite because im looking for someone to save me but dont actually want to be save, so basically i just want someone, and that someone is god. the arguement continued for a while and when his shit started to make sense i knew it was time to leave, so i did. still no idea who i am and no idea where i live, so just walking aimlessly, and i come across a hybrid squirell/skunk. not wanting to find out if i have a sense of smell (turns out later i didnt) or not, i tried to stay still until it passed. instead, it got stuck in a sort of metal trap, and along comes a hybrid bog/cyote wanting to take advantage of the trap for a quick meal. the dog-thing also gets stuck in the trap, which somehot got bigger to accomodate both animals. along comes a sort of black green-eyed mountain cat, to eat the dog, and also gets stuck in a increasingly elaborate and now moving-self automated trap. i waited a little while for something else to come along to try and eat the cat but nothing did, and i wasnt hungry so i let the squirell/skunk go and it ran off, then the dog/cyote and the mountain cat, in that order. my hands hurt from barbs and wires and the skunk thing did spray me but i couldnt tell. hearing squaking noises i looked up, to see the sky covered in some sort of bird, not really a goose or swan, white with a strange plume on the top of the head. and they are flying in circles, or rather BETWEEN circles. it was like those pictures you can draw with only straight lines and end up with something that looks perfectly circular, the birds were constantly flying on the edge of a circle in which there were no birds. also, no bird seemed to go around a single circle even once, but instead moved around the edge and another bird would come into the circle at the exact point it left and complete the circle and leave...it was completely mesmerizing, and i belive this flying pattern was the content of painting_A but i cant be sure. i wake up in the girls room again, with my head tilted so all i can see is a blue wall and painting_A. i have a pleasant and corfortable but misplaced feeling, like i did just before i woke up after my wisdom teeth were taken out. it occurs to me that i may be drugged. there is water running quietly in the bathroom, and above that, a gurgling sound. its not steady like someone blowin bubbles in their milk, its occasional and sporatic, like someone gasping for breath while drowning on their own vomit. i realize that the girl i met earlier may be in some trouble and that i have to do something so i start to turn my head and get up (on a previous attempt my body failed to move before). sudden shock. only the wall that i was looking at is blue, the others are a filthy orange, and im on a hard floor, definately drugged. footsteps and some sloshing noises...something comes around the corner from the bathroom, it has no eyes, no teeth, no hair, an open mouth gasping for air. it has the form of a naked human but it seems covered in a yellowish membrane and bright red mini blood vessels, just like a picture of the back of someone's eye. it tried to move to me but slips and stumbles on its own fluids. i shout something to the effect of "what the FUCK is that?!?" and exit through the nearby door (it opened inward). i very distinctly FELT the loose metal door knob turn. i FELT the thing chase me and SLAM into the wooden door as it closed behind me. i FELT my heart in my chest. and at the end of the hall was another, similar creature, sloshing toward me. end dream. i gather my things and prepare for class. its 70 degees outside, birds are chirping and the world is happy, but im walking around in a cold sweat, looking over my shoulder.
Sidenote, i saw the first two-thirds of the movie "Hostel" last week and there were some clear similarities between the two.
Friday, May 26. playing with the squirrels outside my window, Larry and Moe. Curly is somewhere in sure. i keep throwing peanut buter crunch out the window and they will scurry to the edge so that only their paws are showing, and they are thuroughly convinced i cant see them. then they simultaneously pop their heads up over the edge of the porch, scurry to the nearest crunchable, and stumble back over each other on the way to the edge of the porch. ive been doing this for at least an hour. off to the movies, Xmen3, and my parents anniversary and my brothers birthday, and sisters birthday are things that happened.
