new and improved and 40 cents a pop:
2005-03-06 - 4:56 a.m.
...i had a nightmare concerning postal stamps, but i can't seem to recall anything more than that. my Verizon bill had exceeded 100$USD and maybe that had something to do with it.
Mum is in the hospital. Step-Father made the comment that it seems like every couple of years, she needs to be recalibrated. Sarah made the comment that he knew what he was getting into when he married her. We are all very thankful that they have one another to fall back on, and they are surviving because of this. The story that i received from Sarah, because it's been two weeks and i still haven't been able to get in contact with Mum, is that she was making a scene in the general store, swearing and yelling at the people who run the store, who are also her neighbours. At some point earlier in the day a case worker had visited to give her a psychological evaluation. Someone called the cops, it's unclear whom. When they arrived, she'd holed herself in the house, with Step-Father's .22 shotgun in her hands, threatening to use on any of them if they came into the house. Thankfully, no one was hurt, though i doubt if anyone would believe me [including Mum] if i said that her intent was not to physically harm someone. Prior to her court hearing and several more psychological evaluations by more trained persons, she was driven to Fort Kent Mental Health Institute (not sure if this is the precise name of it) because the Bangor Mental Health Institute was full. Evidently, she enjoyed the ride in the back of the ambulance, because she was in the company of another person with a similar level of mental health and the same destination. I wanted to find out if they were using electro-shock therapy, but i was refused the information over the phone, and i'm sure there are worse ways to deal with hysteria, so i left it at that.
there are two penultimate goals in life for the religious secular man. "if i die today, i will die happy" and "if i die tomorrow, i will die happier". these statements are not mutually exclusive, and to keep the value of both statements true, there is always some level of work to be done.
some behaviours i do intentionally to "remain the person i once was" because i remember being happier, and believe my happines was a result of the person i was (not because of extra-evironmental things but because of the way in which i precieved the world) and so if i could only still be that person, then i would have been still happy. the problem with this thought process is that i cannot be sure if i was ever happier than i currently am. in fact, there's losts of evidence that supports the idea that i was just more ign'ant.
Related Sidenote: the adventure of the SAAB, plan K. So there was this SAAB, white automatic in good condition with three sets of extra tyres on rims. the price was good, but not quite affordable at the particular junction. at some point i realized that the reason i liked it the most was that i was buying it from an ex-law-enforcement-dude. didn't have to worry about it being uninspected or him lying [too much] about any problems the car might have. and the stickers. front and back windshield cop support and insignias, just the kind of thing i would want on my windshield if/when i am stopped a third time for going 85mph and hope-to-goodness to (once again) evade with a simple warning [my jedi mind tricks aren't as strong as they once were]. so i did what any half-crazed-and-trying-desperately-to-be-logical person would do. i drove 60 miles west. from there, i found the nearest country club (at which i was sure to find a SAAB). parked at the most run-down dope-selling crack house i could find, and sure enough, there it was. an exhaust problem. and three tinted windows. and a standard transmission loosly attatched to a 900s frame with 2,000 less miles on the engine than the previous SAAB. 500$USD later and my life was complete. a week later Father and i returned to the scene with approximately three gallons of anticipatory automotive fluids, brand-spanking-new medical insurance and a whole day to waste, should it explode in my face on the way home, literally. and finding car insurance for less than 1800$USD a year in NY was a pain in the ass.
my apartment has been swapped. i am currently looking for a roommate. plase answer the following questionaire and email me if you know of something called the Capital District Region:
#1. I am involved in the sale/use of narcotics...
a) i am a licensed pharmasist (and may offer, persistently, to shave a little off the corners for you).
b) i routinely sell narcotics, and plan to pay rent with the money made from hanging out in the residence with my clients.
c) i am temporarily employed as a drug mule, and plan to pay rent with the transportation of illegal substances via my ass.
d) if i were to take a urine sample right now, i would have no doubts.
I have a television that you are welcome to use unconditionally.
a) 10+"
b) 15+"
c) 20+"
d) no.
#2. I have a severe mental condition...
a) but the doctors haven't told me what it is yet.
b) that compulses me to burst into your room between the hours of 3am and 8am, jump on your head and drool.
c) for which i am taking medication that makes me happy, and i think you should be happy too, or else.
d) but i am trying my best not to let it take over my life.
#3. I have children or pets...
a) which are not housetrained.
b) whose combined weight of daily-drool-output is in excess of 3 lbs, or whose total legs count more than 1.
c) not currently, but i am prone to taking in strays, so that in one month's time i may own more than my weight in "pets".
d) no.
#4. I am an alcoholic...
a) i only drink when it's free (weddings, funerals, christmas, new years, my friend's house, superbowl, etc).
b) no, i only drink in social situations were there is opportunity to get laid (which, really, is possibile every weekend).
c) no, and if you accuse me of bing an alcoholic again i will beat you silly with this empty beer can.
d) alcohol does not agree with my stomach and/or lifestyle.
#5. I watch FOX News...
a) and think that Dan Rather(TM) is still hot shit.
b) and believe them when they tell me they are credible.
c) and i am one of the 1,000 people who really did actually vote for Bush, in the last 8 years. i was drunk both times (see above).
d) no, unless it immediately follows The Simpsons(TM), and i am hopelessly sucked in.
#6. I have a probation officer assigned me...
a) because i have a natural attraction for fast-moving shinny metal objects.
b) because i like fire, and prefer it in mass quantities.
c) because i had this awsome foolproof pran two years ago, and i have since improved it.
d) no, or i have already served my probation period without repeat incidences.
ebay versus jason. ebay two, jason one. ordered 12 packages of little-pewter Battletech(TM) figurines, just about half a year after Mitch and i stopped playing Battletech(TM), and just slightly after having started a 2nd-edition AD&D campaign; which gives me another year or so to detail the plot of the adventure, learn the Mechwarrior(TM) rules, and paint the figs. in the meantime i plan to get superglue all over myself and walk around making "shzoom-shzoom" noises. i shall like to dedicate this victory to Paypal(TM) whom facillitated the transaction, the seller (of course), and that cool guy in jersey who at the last minute decided he had better things to do, than be that ass from new jersey that outbid me at the last second.
