fact:
2004-08-31 - 12:48 p.m.
...an outcome that was at one point a single entry in a list of possible truths, that through observation has risen and matured into The truth. The truth which was only possible before, now explains the past; the truth at that moment is, and forever shall it be [though it may be subject to change from other observed truths]. these are the words of the Great Electron, Orbital 2 : 15.
...something that i have never been good at believing.
i am not proud of myself. and i chastise myself for wondering why.
there are these things that need to be done. get six months insurance on my car, two inspections, one drug test to be scheduled. read the first chapter of two different books i can't afford to hold in my hands. say goodbye to my grandmother one last time, before. programs that need to be written. the aquisition of money.
since i haven't written in a while, i guess it would be congenial, were i to inform you that i am no longer employed at Stewarts'. my manager tells me that a customer complained becuase i asked her age, and she was well over 18. company policy is that we ask everyone who is 30 or under for their ID, but i often times have a hard time knowing who is > 30. to allow me to figure this out, i sometimes ask customers their age to see if they are over or under 30 so that i will know what an IDable person looks like. 9 out of 10 times i explain my reason for asking, so that i really only need to know if they are > 30 or ~( > 30). but i find it hard to believe that i was fired over a single customer complaint, so there must have been something else, but i can't figure it out. an ugodly number of reformattings of my computer took place. two days later found we working at a local smoke shop, one of several places I'd already applied to in case something like this were to happen. A couple weeks and another reformatting after that, Mitch's sister_in_law tells me they are hiring at Adesta, and convinces me to apply. Last weekend, i worked some 28 hours for them, and hopefully my schedule will not always be so full.
if advice was intended for people to listen to, it would keep it's mouth shut much more than it does [in the hopes of gaining trust].
and so, following the word of the Great Electron, the robots went into the marketplaces and factories, they filled the abandoned homes and offices, each one staying at a location for a short period of time before wandering on. some of the robots, they preferred the steady pounding of the factories in their psyche, compared to the scattered, sharp tink-tinkering of the more curious. the globe was as an orchestra, when they were all pleased with their functions, and the robots knew the meaning of harmony. and there was a peace for so many years, it did not matter to their historians that they had lost count. these are the words of the Great Electron, Orbital 5 : 46.
i am more of an assembly bot than most around me would lead you to know. a steady gong in the distance. when i get out of an 8-hour shift, i feel refreshed, in a manner that bears no external reason. i think i may actually enjoy thinking only of the one task at hand, as i locate and exectute the response that will keep me in a reasonably alive state for another five minutes. i have yet to finnish a single project, out of a list of a hundred projects started, on the basis that more important projects have taken priority. a sound that never ends is a sound that never finnishes it's song.
squares have legs, but they can�t do a split. their legs are much more suited to can-can dancing. Traingles can�t dance at all, with three left feet.
if you lock a man in a room for long enough with a broken object, he will eventually fix it or at least put it to some fuctional use. if there is nothing in the room to fix, he will eventually break something so that he can later attempt to fix it. a man locked in a room with no objects except himself will eventually break himself, and the peices will go about trying to fix themselves, with no conception as to where the rest of the peices are located, or a thought to the medium by which they will fuse once they find each other. The only way for the man to survive, then, is by first contemplating his own state of broken/fixed with an infinite paradox, so that he delays his own self destruction for the duration of eventually. these are the words of the Great Electron, Orbital 8 : 26.
i cannot ignore the possibility that i have been trying to break myself, with so much work. i cannot ignore the carefree attitude with which i accepted the idea. i says to myself that it's okay now, more stable is me, now that i've realized this covert intent. but knowing is only half the battle, and it's a large battlefield. nothing has changed, no decisions have been made.
there was once a game in Mynd, where the Sirs were playing "find the narrator", which was not simply a game of finding, but a game of Seeing. the narrator, being only a voice, would easily throw himself from one place to another, apearing to be first talking out of a rock, and then a tree. the Sirs were watching in secret from the shore, as the narrator babbled from a nearby brook. as they rushed out from the trees, the narrotor whispered quickly into the wind, and landed as a whistle in the grass, at an entrance to a cave. the Sirs closed in from two sides, so that the narrator was forced to be stuck in the echo of the cave. the echo, when it was discerned, was comming from an old leprechaun who'd lost his glasses. Upon proper discernation, the narrator had been caught by Sir#1, and so he was granted a gift. Sir#1, asked for the whereabouts of the leprechaun's glasses, which he then returned to the leprechaun, and in so doing was allowed to have all the gold he desired, as long as he carried it himself. by the time he got to the brook with the gold, Sir#1 was exhausted and offered politely to Sir#2 that if he could get the gold accross the brook, Sir#1 would carry it the rest of the way, and they would split it at the jouney's end. Sir#2, biting down on the neck of a large sack of gold, he attempted to swim to the other side. Alas, he had carried too much, and so drowned. Sir#1 pondered upon his companions courage and stupidity for a while before resolving to skip the gold, one coin at a time, on the surface of the brook to the other side. He quickly lost intrest in the game, not having anyone to compete against, or take pleasure in his shots, and so the gold vanished with his want for it, as the leprechaun has said. only one coin remained, which Sir#1 placed under the tongue of Sir#2, before taking the jouney back alone.
oh, and chris got a kitten.
life cannot be desribed with verse, but it can be described by poetry. again. timeless and again. and the only difference between the two is the pause. Allows you to think for yourself about the meaning of words that would otherwise look jumbled, marching in a straight line. And more physical pauses causes faster transations, between the sending and receiving trains, on the borderlands of preception. �psst, I think you need to get a new conductor��
Dream: a "Rushmore" sequel. there was something involving a main character hopelessly lost in love, and although it bore some of the attitude and psychoses of this movies main character, and the actor seemed strangely similar, this sequel takes a sharp turn fifteen minutes into the movie, as the Rushmore charater kills himself. the rest of the movie was involved in the lives of three women in twenties and high heel boots who, for lack of any sort of description in my dream, i will say looked like the girls from charlie's angels. the mall that they had been shopping in was overrun by a clan of vampires that just sort of casually walked around, tasting a bit here and there as if the people were ors'devours. the people, for the most part, continued shopping, not knowing what else to do. when the main characters try to leave the mall through the front door they are stopped and assigned an escort, a Hally Barry-looking vampire that can't resist dancing when she hears any type of music, and mostly in added in for other tidbits of intelligent comedic relief because the women are, shall we say, Clueless. in an electronics shop, a dark disco dance sceene takes place, and the songs are constantly changing to reveal the personality of each character. exhausted, the women enter a toy store, where a cabbage patch dool acts as psychiatrist (with a freudian bend, of course!), and it argues with a future-knowing action figure in a cage/box. while two of the women are distracting the vampiress with large pop-up books that formed childsize versions of couuntryside 200K$ houses, the third character escapes into an air vent. she discovers some weakness of the vampires (they were conveniently discussing their critical weakness among themselves) and returns without her dissapearance being noticed. the rest of the movie was a long pointless fight sceene with plently of flying chinese persons and at one point everyone waited for one of the girls to pump up her pumps before she completed a kick. End Dream (prematurely truncated).
