not every thorn has a rose
2014-04-20 - 8:48 a.m.
afterthoughts:: if you want to be that person that she calls to complain about life, the first step is to not be the thing that she is complaining about. I forgot to tell her she is beautiful, and about Kids In The Hall at The Wilbur Theatre on 6June2014. RIP. secret of mana. rollin' in the deep. rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead. Comptine d'Un Autre 't'- Die fabelhafte Welt der Am'lie. blaster master. peep show. marine hanshakes. pickles. the phantom tollbooth. the last unicorn. fairytale of new york. salmon. the legend of zelda: a link to the past. and teabot, probably the most thoughtful gift i've ever received.
references::wine: 2008 Thorpe Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon
wine: 2008 Banshee Cabernet Sauvignon
http://sorting.at/
http://www.spritzinc.com/
priorities: radiation, evaporation, convection, conduction.activities::
dec22: finger grew back, so well that i can't tell my middle fingers apart. I used to have a callus on my right middle finger, and with it gone, i feel like i lost a small bit of my identity.
9jan: i installed google chrome and it fixed the "open in new tab" functionality on my internet explorer.
16feb: put on makeup for the first time. something empowering about being able to make yourself more attractive by applying a bit of grease.
april4: (lesson in STFU) don't say 'no' to the BN Commander.
april5: learned how to start a fire in the woods with a section of 550 chord.
april6: (lesson in STFU) don't talk after the BN Commander.
april8: walked into best buy, ready to throw down over a bill i had received in error. after some investigation, it turns out that what actually happened was that i had unwittingly committed a federal offense.
april19: coming back from Maine, 769-3L9 paid for my toll, and i won't ever know why, and that's okay.thoughts::
uncounting: calling out a list of decrementing integers.
sanctions on soda in NY state: What's with the war on sugar? It's like a bunch of combustion engines complaining that injecting gasoline is harmful to your pistons.
motivational poster: if at first you don't succeed, use more DUCT TAPE
technology: because not all advancements are improvements.
betterment board: for couples to practice supporting each other. you can only set a goal for the other person, not yourself, and each person can only have one betterment goal on the board at one time. This is primarily to increase awareness of the supported person, because complete observation (and thus reinforcement) cannot be sustained for any reasonable length of time (one month to build a habit).
genius: James Russell invented a form of digital media with a finger-sized hole.
finger drill: military slang equivalent to "just checking the box". on 26feb2014: I started using the term "handjarb" to describe the situation in someone has scribbled instructions on a piece of paper by hand, rather than typing (or texting) them. urban dictionary disagreed, and on 26feb2014, I gave up neologism and resumed my day jarb.
faith: Right now, somewhere in America, is a beat-up car hurtling down the highway at 200kph. And if you had the opportunity to ask the driver of that car, if he had faith, we would respond in one of two ways: a) he would say nothing, but continue on the present course, or b) he would shit himself. We are the car. Each of us is one little part of the machinery that tries not to fall apart, as we try to integrate with the other parts. Most people think the objective is to drive from point A to point B, but that's only the sort-term goal of the car. The long-term goal is to inspire faith. The long-term goal is to prevent that driver from shitting himself. As human beings, it is your primary responsibility to make others have faith in you; in your team, in your organization, in humans as a whole.Sir#1: ...and when he gets to age 6, we'll preform the circumvention. are you planning to attend?
Sir#2: i think you mean circumcision.
Sir#1: no, circumvention. we all stand around, until he asks for something, then we deny him, without saying 'no' directly, and walk around him in a circle, while wearing party masks.
Sir#2: so you need to know if i will be attending, because you need to know how many masks to order, for a party that won't happen for 8 more years?
Sir#1: yes.
Sir#2: put me down for three.you can't start with, "mom, dad, i'm a pterodactyl." no, you have to work up to it. "mom, dad, I enjoy sticking my penis in warm holes." sit them down, watch some educational American Pie, feed them some popcorn, wait until the credits. then hit them with it: "mom, dad, I've done a lot of thinking about this, and i think i might be a pterodactyl. i know it's hard to believe, but last sunday, i... i struck pterror in the hearts of my enemies."
Sir#2: ? ok, i'll let you tell me the punchline.
Sir#1: the freq! [uency]!signing up for the military, they asked me about doing drugs, and i felt compelled to tell them the truth about it. beforehand, the recruiter had prepped me to lie, "with that GAT score, we need you. we don't care if you smoked crack straight from a mule's ass, just say whatever you have to in order to get through in-processing"... so I had to sign a form saying that my use of marijuana was "experimental". the recruiter asked me "if someone had sex with sheep, do you think that 5-10 mind-blowing sheep-fucks would be considered 'experimental?' sounds like more of a habit to me." the following was not my response, but should have been: (shaking head) "well, if you know anything about population statistics, it's that you need to have a large sample size. there might be a wide variation between the really good sheep, and the ones that are, eww."relationships are like shoes: we set our standards very high. we need shoes that are both dressy and casual, that are waterproof and breathe, and when we find them, we want to wear them all the time and have them last forever, and never go out of style. but the shoes that i find myself actually wearing for 90% of my life are comfortable running shoes, because the majority of my time is spent running around, and they are 'good enough' in most any other situation.
