Inevitables: failure, loss, and mustard seeds
2003-02-26 - 11:05 a.m.
Something that should be essential, but isn�t. Comedy Central after staying awake for three days straight.
Flunked out of college today. Needed ten embalmings and reports done by this Friday, but when I talked to the instructor today, she said that she wasn�t going to bother to come in tomorrow or the next day, which meant that I had until oh-eighteen-hundred-hours to report back with the reports, or be deported. Seeing as I hadn�t written anything yet, it was hell trying to type fast enough to pump out twenty pages of personal bullshit in four hours�and when the bell rang, I was still half of the project behind�because there were forms to fill out for what sort of case it was, and forms to be signed by people in different states�and I hadn�t quite got ten pages, because I was taking my time to make it sound nice. When the ringing of the bell echoed, I started flipping out�I never really pictured myself as one of those people that gets 99% through college only to drop out. See, if I don�t pass one of my classes this semester, I�m not coming back here for the summer�I�ll just take the failure and move on. But this time, I was saved�I�ve got another week to do the assignment, partly because when we got to Fagas yesterday, they jipped us by already having done the embalming�a similar event occurred today. Thing is, I�m nowhere near the clear, can�t even see it�I�ve just found a bubble of air under the ice. This whole week has been one my-whole-life-depends-on-what-I-do-in-the-next-three-hours after another, and several simultaneously�basically, they gave the class another week to experience it all over again. But showing up to my 6:00 class late beats sitting in my room uncontemplating the not-so-meaning of antilife.
I had met Tom before, but I didn�t really get a chance to know him until today. He got bad grades in high school because most of his time was spent working as a low-level consultant for the Apple Corporation (TM). He came here for a degree in graphic design, but comments about it looking too much like a nice place on the hill for druggies. Good jokes, and knows a ton about computers. He�s legally blind from being hit by a car a couple years back, but damn intelligent, and has a very coefficient for being good friend material. Told him when I leave here that I�d put in a good word for him to get a bigger scholarship than me.
Sidenote: No, my college is not really located on a hill. It�s really more of the reverse�a ditch a few miles from Boston.
Found a great new way to relieve stress�took a cold shower and then walked around dropkicking big-n-heavy-exit-type doors open. Karate-Te!
