Reality: represented in waves
2002-11-11 - 12:22 a.m.
i've heard it once before, that light can be represented as a particle. light can also, however, be represented by a wave. and it's true, that matter can be represented in waves, but the math is more complicated. hell, i'm sure light could be represented as a giant spinning grapefruit, but the paper-analysis would prubly be a bit sticky. i prefer to think of matter in terms of variations of concentrations of repulsive and atractive forces. but the point is that matter and the speed of matter, and therefore reality as science knows it, can be represented in waves. human behaviour closely follows waves...it has frequencies, it has amplitude, it repeats. it has it's ups, it's downs, it's nodes of occilation. Spirals, cones, life can be represented in many different ways. and all of them meaning quite the same representation to quite the same people, over and over again.
it seems that evrey morning I have to rediscover who I am when I roll out of bed. Check my notes from the previous day and space out tying my shoes, trying to remember not only what I've done, but who I was, so that I can properly decide who I am. That being said...I've forgotten most of what happened in the past few weeks, and I'm not entirely sure that's a bad thing. Had one one of those hollywood moments where a girl said 'hi' to me in the hallway, and got really angry when I asked her who she was. "Christine...you know, last night?...arg!" Such things don't really even bother me anymore, I've nearly accepted my swiss-cheese-brain fate. Develop and mature a whole person by dinnertime, run into some situations and fall asleep, to do it again. Single-day larval metamophasis in human form.
surface headache...cured with wiskey, though i didn't really get drunk-drunk. roomate#1 had his sister over (who, strangely enough, lives in maine and is white, although he lives in Massachusetts and is black), and she brought one of her friends over to drink with us...unfortunately, she brought the only friend of hers that is against drinking, a psyche major. and there was much talk about rosarch tests going boink, and i won the game of chess. interesting night, all-in-all.
gold is valuable, not because it is a inherently valuable item, but because of it's position in the world of trade. gold is a universal translator, in that when you go to a different place, you can use it to buy more or less the same items. in this lies it's value. but gold has since fallen from this social position over the other elements, and it's time we elected a new element to be of universal use, and the highest level of value. smiles, i say. but then when someone wanted to buy something, and they needed a gram of smiles to buy it...well, smiles just don't weigh much. got to get away from this dependancy on weight to determine value...i think that's what's weighing the ecconomy down. reiteration: to the businessman, smiles are worthless, for they have no qualitative properties and therefore are not valuable for trade.
"hi, is becca there?...rebecca?"
"no, sorry, she doesn't live here anymore..."
"oh sorry, is this her sister's house?"
"umm, yea, sorry."
*goodbyes*
new number, who woulda known. i would like to explain, although i may have before, my doctoine on 'the benefit of the doubt'. it's this thing i give to people whom i've never met, and a thing that is retained by people who don't prove to me that they shouldn't have it taken away from them (ref: Rights, use 'em or loose 'em). anyway, it's very rare that someone re-aquires this 'benefit of the doubt', and this is one shuch case. maybe because i unjustly removed her benefit of the doubt, maybe becasue time has passed. but she's not a stranger, not completely, and she was never anything less or more than she was. i'm too critical of things ingeneral, but that's my problem. anyway, i'd like to elect a change of name, a change of neural adress for this person, to symbolize this pardoned benefit of the doubt. i'm changing 'Rebecca' to 'Becca'...not because i think that there's some sort of mystic connection there, but because we seem to be there for one another, from time to time. and that's worth what it's worth, and nothing less.
long as i'm renaming people, i'd like to suggest the changing of the name of the one i call 'Father'. he's really had a hard life, one job to another, and he never got, and may never get, the credit he deserves. to this end, he will henceforth be known as 'Daud', a name that i feel is similar to the common 'dad' but along the same lines as 'Mum'.
Enter: one 'Robin', short girl who calls me 'Mouse'. immature, but it a good way. went on a birthday-date with her on the 8th, and it was pretty fun...walking down newbery street and just...being. chatting in the way people do when they have nothing mentally jarring to talk about, because she hasn't yet developed the capacity for what i would consider 'real' conversation. it seems immiturity has it's place and time. half-exit robin...standing just offstage, so to speak.
Enter: two 'irving', a pair of gargoyles bought on this so-called birthday-date. a stone spirit of protection, luck, sanctuary.
Re-Enter: Dyani. because she's a sweetheart. i just wish i weren't such a nerd...penalties to my initiative, and botching all my charisma rolls.
