ping 127.0.0.1
2002-10-23 - 4:37 a.m.
Enter Julie. Just one more tipsy-easy girl lookin' for a cigarette. Enter a small amount of carrying-on. Enter her inviting me over to her room tomorrow for drinks. Enter her asking why I don't have a girlfriend. Enter me making a mental note to exit Julie (quite possibly for different reasons altogether than those that could be assumed from the aforementioned statements).
Warning: The following contains ad-lib-style content that may be offensive to readers...it is meant as a joke. Furthermore, I would sugest (in a 'handicapped parking' manner) that my blinded-with-racism readers envision such comments comming from Chris Rock, like he was in DefJam 2000, with a little stubly beard and all "hwaa-hwaa!".
Template for a black joke, type the second (the lead-into for absurd action): (intro) And you know there be niggaz out there (enter random action here), because there be (enter random, uncoresponding reason here). (enter seemingly random result of the reason here). And they be all (enter dramatization with much cross-stage movements and slapping motions, combined with a constant stream of odd mouth-sounds, until even standing still seems hillarious).
Exapmle to follow. "And you know there be niggaz out there bangin' the really nice ass, because they got the hhaaammmburger. You know the Hamburgler be gettin' with it all the time, that's why he be all hyper and shyt. [On] all those commercials he be all 'tee-hee' and scamperin' around... *demonstration of a Hamburgler on crack, alternating between eating like a chipmunk and humping like a rabbit (multiple positions, including vermin-military-bunkerstacking)*."
...There seems to me two differnt kinds of blacks. You gots the africans over here *funky little dance and an oo-la, oo-la, click-click* and the black americans over here *yo. yo. yo. KAPLOW!* 'cuz you know that them kids don't be playin' duck-duck-goose; they be playing click-click-bang, you know what I'm sayin'? I haven't figured out yet, if the black americans got that from their russian ancestors, or they they stole the rullet game from us, ya know? But those africans, they be a whole different breed of thug. Like the pigeons. All that *clickity-click* is gome to their heaeds, yo, and they be all paranoid like "oh god, somebody got the guuuun!"...just waitin' for that blat, you know. Like giant crickets on crack yo, *clickity-click, clickity* And those other africans, with their oo-la, oo-la...that be the heritage right there, that there is the root of the human race. That's the defining point between monkeys and man, is that man can Dance. Of course, there's a lot of so-called 'people' out there that really haven't developed to that level yet. I tell ya, bill gates is just a rich monkey with glasses. (enter bill gates attempting to dance without bending his knees/elbows) Like he's still stuck in some anciet monkey curse, that prevents him from being fully human...tsktsk. But those Africans, they be freeeeeeeeaks yo. They know how to live, and it's not involving jammin' a desk on top of your dick or hiring a secretary because she's got large breasts and then getting all slobery when she hands you your phone messages. It's all about giving and recieving on an at-need basis, yo. Why else would AIDS spread so fast? But seriously, back to the black americans, born and bred into a tough world, with clothes and everything. Some of them borthers, you see them walkin' around outside, got their pants to their knees...a lot of people make fun of 'em fer that, but I say 'regain your heritage brother! go all the way to the ankles!' But the truth, the sad truth, is that there isn't much of a connection there. The black american is all about working up from nothing, gaining the power of equality in a world where he (and she) once had none. It's all about being proud, and being strong in face of adversity. This is a great change from not having any adversity at all, but not that it's worse...just different. Otherwise everyone would be runnin' to africa and gettin' disks in their lips to avoid taxes, and traffic, and he-said-she-said-syndrome of Friends (a repeat theme from last week's repeat from the week previous). And really, there be three different kids of american-blacks. The strong blacks, the weak blacks, and the funny blacks. You know the funny blacks, because they stand out...they got it all...the chicks, the smiles, the brains. They cool with this, and cool with that, and they know shyt. Important shyt, like how to deal with people, and make a girl laugh, and talk a mad mother fucker into giving over the gun (or at least the crack). The 'weak' blacks I call 'weak' not because they're physically weak, but because they don't know who they are. And THIS is the root of the problem, as I see it. Because when you ain't got that inner strength like that, you got nothin'. A black american man becomes 'strong' when he finds out who he is...when he runns with what it means to be him. When he feels that feelin' yo, and he knows that he doesn't need a gat, women, money or whatever else the television tells him is cool...And come to think of it, everyone is a combination of the weak, the strong, and the joker. And everyone gets stronger when they realize what it means to be them...but don't get me wrong yo. Everyman, no matter how strong, needs a woman yo.
In other news. I used to blow my nose and fold it in half just to unfold it and play Rorschach (ink blot) tests with myself. In those days, at Jung's eye level and Freud's mental level, psychology no less than amazed me. But after years of analyzing and re-analyzing my thought processes, and reading all the prescribed books and figuring out all their stoner theories for myself, I have only come to one sure conclusion, a single 1:1 correlation...
Odd little childhoods have odd little children.
"Don't hold the card at an unusual angle. Watch how you phrase things. Say "This looks like ..." or "This could be ..." never "This is..." After all, you're supposed to realize that it is just a blot of ink on a card. By the same token, don't be too literal and say things as, "This is a blotch of black ink." Don't groan, get emotional, or make irrelevant comments. Don't put your hands on the cards to block out parts. The psychologist will watch for all of the foregoing as signs of brain damage."
I took the personality disorder test back in the entry 'to say nothing of the coke' (2001-10-31). Took it again, seeing it on a list of tests provided me from Lidsay-the-g'mo/emoth. Results to follow (disorder : result : old result).
Paranoid: High (moderate)
Schizoid: Very High (very high)
Schizotypal: Very High (high)
Antisocial: Low (moderate)
Borderline: Low (low)
Histrionic: Moderate (low)
Narcissistic: Low (moderate)
Avoidant: Low (low)
Dependent: Moderate (low)
Obsessive-Compulsive: High (moderate)
Archibald, wefears the hole is getting bigger.
Schizoid Personality Disorder: People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."
Schizotypal Personality Disorder: Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.
...And sometimes I think I'd be such a happier person if I didn't spend every day in a continuous hangover (Coca-Cola being a diaretic/dehydrant). So much more of a social person, and easier on myselves, if I could just get off the coke. So much more normal.
The following are excerpts from Lin Yutang's 'Between Tears and Laughter'. In hopes that I will read more of it, I've taken to the idea of posting a few quotes from this book (a political and social commentary from a western perspective [note that I did not say THE western prespective]). In addition, I hope to state whether I currently agree or disagree to the quoted statements. Of course, those quotes which are posted primarily for the purpose of humour ahll have not agreement or disagrement in my mind, for to do wo would lessen the bredth of my smile, so to speak. Keeping in mind that the following is a rough translation...excepts to follow:
"Agreement of opinion is the least important thing; disagreement is not only profitable, but neccesary to thinking" (note: what about from a biologial/neurological standpoint? : 'profitable' does not translate well into some languages)
"...where men fighting for thier freedom are fighting men fighting for their freedom..." agree (note: frredom may be the core reason to every war, personal/national/global)
"Great men make great mistakes and small men make small mistakes. Then the great men love to point out the small mistakes of the small men, while they do not wish to have thier great mistakes pointed out by the small men. [but they do not realize that] A mistake is something which it is the privilege of the great men to commit and of the small men of this earth to point out after they are dead...The great thing about the teaching of history is that we must tech history but not let history teach us." (note: how else is a small man to be made great, if not by making a great mistake?)
"Sometimes there are more tears than laughter, and sometimes there is more laughter than tears, and sometimes you feel so choked you can neither weep nor laugh. For tears and laughter there will always be so long as there is human life. When our tear wells have run dry and the voice of our laughter is silenced, the world will be truely dead." agree (note: freedom = the ability to laugh AND cry?)
...And perhaps the most important thing I've learned from humans, regarding social whosits and whatsits, is that deductive logic gets you nowhere. You can't just decide that a lack of obvious redeeming qualities is a sign of having no redeemable qualities, or that such qualities are even important in the first place...there may be nothing that needs redeeming. Don't scrub the clean glass too much or it'll become sharp. All to frequently, I find myself looking for down-points in the people I meet (I call it the anti-pedastal approach, call it what you want). Just store the inadequacies and incapacities of the individual for later dissection and possible use and/or correction. In most cases, the correction is seen more in my view of the atribute rather than a change of it on the material end. We can control all of quantum physics, simply by the way in which we look at things. And somehow, this is all part of the same greatest truth I've discovered durring my stay.
