love at last sight
2001-12-13 - 8:25 p.m.
This will most likely be my last posting for a while...I'm going on vacation from the 14th until the 14th. If, for whatever absurd reason, you know me in person and want to see me while I'm 'out', just...walk outside, tell it to a star, and I'll be there by the following morning.
Something is lost in the translation from any language to Ebonix. For example, the simple quad-language statement "Bonjour madame, se pega su gato in meinem Baum, capite?" translates to "Yo bytch, yo' pussy is stuck on my tree, you know what I'm sayin'?"
'If pricks were found at the ends of pins, I'd be a pincushion.' -Nemo
Public safety is my Staples (TM). Whenever I need tape, staples, or a hole puncher...yea, they gots that. But I have to make sure not to look them straight in the eyes, because every time I do that, they pause for a second before telling me they forget what I just said. Like grasshoppers, so easily confused by a shaken glass jar.
Revelation: As girls approach the limit of meeting my standards for perfect imperfection, I become infinitely more critical of them. Archibald would say that I do this because I'm afraid of someone actually meeting those standards...and here I was, thinking that my only phobia was one of scuba-diving equipment, and that ex-janitors from the 22nd century knew nothing about psychology.
Archibald (pretending to be a toll-booth guy): Change please.
Goblyn (formerly known as 'me'): *stopping in his Gremlin(TM)* Here, it's all in nickels, but I had time to count it twice while I was running away from those highway patrol units...
Archibald: Should have been clearer...I didn't ask for your change, I asked for a change. Everyone gives my change at the tollbooth. Your handing of the change to me is not a change at all from my daily routine, and you have therefore not given me what I desire to convince me to lift the gate for you.
Goblyn: Ifyousowish, but I'm warning you that I have a happy trigger finger for mind games -
Archibald: Shoot away.
Goblyn: ...It seems to me that it is more accurate a statement that 'nature abhors a vacuum' than 'everything that goes around come around', in relation to human reactions. In the particle explanations of physics, the scientists found that they could accurately represent any system by either a simple movement of a shapeless particle or patterns of waves. For our purposes, we can consider both of these points of view as concentrations of one thing or another. Heat, as originally measured in a massless particulate form, was shown to move from areas of high concentration to areas of low concentration. What was rarely considered was the concentrations themselves as particles, to view how relative low and high concentrations move toward each other. Let us consider emotions (a concept as abstract and useless as the concept of matter itself) as a particle. Insofar as particle explanations are concerned, matter needn't exist as we think of it...it is sufficient that we think of it, and therefore it must exist. Using this type of explanation, it is apparent that high concentrations of friendliness and meaniness move toward concentrations of their opposites, and the more a person gives of a certain concentration, the more they are likely to get back. Humans, in a way, act as complex sieves, filtering out what they do and do not choose to dump onto other people. If one is annoying, or showing the quality of one who seems not to want people around the one, it will cause the people around the one to act in a seemingly annoying manner to the one by showing that they do not wish to have the one around them. An angry person generates feeling of frustration upon others just as a happy person generates an interpersonal 'aura' of happiness.
Archibald: ...Excepting the exception that a person is surrounded by people acting in a certain manner...let us say that they are acting good, so that their collective goodness draws the goodness that he is entitled to is taken from him...may never gain that potential level of expression again.
Goblyn: Exactly, sir.
Archibald: One could extrapolate from this theory Luther's theory of Social Darwinism(TM) in that the poorer you act, the poorer you are...But it seems to me that you have stolen the basics of this theory from Simon, and so you cannot be blamed.
Goblyn: *simles* ...But why can't my computer visit my own website? Can you answer that, Mr. Tollbooth Man?
Archibald: For a question as complex as that, it is best to seek more professional help than that from a man that sits in a box all day and gets paid extra to smile, does it not?
Goblyn: Point. *speeds off in his ugly little Gremlin, spreading his tackyness unto the world ahead*
Revelation: Left to our own devices, we all go to shyt.
I got my last paper of the year in Social Foundations of Funeral Service (SFFS) today, containing the evertypical fortune-cookie comment: "You will find many of these opportunities awaiting you." Yay, just what I wanted to Know. But the thing that caught my attention was his goodbye statement for the winter break. Instead of saying something equivalent to "have a nice Christmas (TM)", he placed a hand on my shoulder and said "take care". Of course, he could have been referring to some sort of deadly disease that I might have caught without noticing it, but I agreed with myselves that he was using this statement because he thought that I was Jewish (my step-uncle, ). Not to say that this confusion doesn't make perfect sense. I was baptized as a Baptist (by my Methodist future-Step-mother), confirmed in the Catholic tradition (crossing my fingers and insisting that it was logically impossible for Christ (TM) to be [entirely] dead the whole time), and received Methodist newsletters. I shave like a Buddhist, but only on Saturdays, and when my Ka is feeling overly Tauistic. I would call myselves Atheist but the Truth (which we believe in) is that we believe in some things impossible, if not a defined set of them. I would call us Agnostic, by the majority of mysleves really don��t give a flying monkey as to what religion is, let alone which one they believe in. The majority of this task falls to Simon (who is very like to a Buddhist), but am I to say that all of my is Agnostic, if only a small part of me is actively searching for 'something out there'? I guess it doesn't help that I have a rather fuzzy ethnicity. Maybe if someone along the way had just told me that I needed to be of a certain faith because of who my parental units (all four of them) were...but then again, that would cause me to not be me.
Related Sidenote: For future reference, this is the first time that I've used the term 'us' when referring to myselves. I've used 'we' before, but this is slightly unnerving...
In defense of masochism. If a person agrees with both the statement 'being bad feels good' and 'it should make one feel bad to be doing bad [this is the principle of guilt]', one must also, logically, agree to the statement 'I should feel bad when I [want to] feel good'. Interchangable.
