no one to be cold with
2001-12-08 - 11:50 a.m.
Today is one of those cold days, inside. I threw on a sweater and spent most of the day in my room, but it didn't help because the fault isn't with the thermostat. Before, when I've done destructive things to myselves, I've done so because of the presence of a higher good. This 'type B' (passive)destructive behavior, mostly the coke...has already done a disappearing act on one of my kidneys and done five points of overkill on my liver. My addictions are focusing their powers in the gastrointestinal direction, and I'll be lucky if I get to bid my heart goodbye (my lungs I'll prubly fill with stomach acid first). Later today, I'm gonna try to get some music playing, and the people will get to decide if they have the initiative to go to a dance. At least it'll get me out of my room for a bit.
If chrome was able to catch diseases, and it caught mono, would you only be able to see it in two colours?
Yea...so...the dance was packed. With air. There was even a small pit fight going on between the particles, and I had to separate them or else they might have caused a raucous. In short, the idea was dumb, the project was a failure, and it's planning was done by a loser (although he's grown particularly fond of his new title). I got the music all set up at 10, and spend from 10 until 11 alternating between looking out the window in the hall and sitting in the hall, drawing lizards on my left arm in permanent marker. There are at least 1200 people on this campus, and only one of them seems to do anything outside of the realm of doing homework, drinking and fucking. I suddenly feel very much out of place. But not only are they unmotivated fuckers...they're polite fuckers too. This one girl, who thought I was out of earshot, turned to her fiend: "That guy is soo wierd." Walking by again, she made a point to let me hear the second comment "What is that awful noise?"(insert a *smirk* here) in response to the music (just some basic alternative everyone-knows-it stuff). But when I was bringing the CD player back to my room, she went out of her way to offer to hold the door open for me. 'No, that's alright, I got it...but fuck you anyways...' The weirdness comment didn't come as a shock...it barely registered. They think I'm weird because I shaved my head. Because I question things before I accept them as fact. Because I stand outside to watch the first snowflakes of the year land on the pavement (that happened tonight). Because I have the Energy, and they'd rather whine all day. I'd love to give them all a big round of Retard Applause (TM).
Sir#1: How you feelin', sir?
Sir#2: I know how I'm feelin', but how are you?
Sir#1: Nownow, don't be pullin' them inverse PeeWee Herman tricks on me. I asked how you're doin'.
Sir#2: *thinks about it* Very alt-f4-ish.
Sir#1: Is that 'all closed up', or 'all shut down'?
Sir#2: A little of both, not like there's much of a difference.
Sir#1: *nodnod*
Narrator: And for once, neither of the Sirs had anything to say to the other.
Revalation: I'm going to a leftover college. In the cafeterium, they typically put the leftover meat products on the next day's pizza, arguing that recycling is good for the environment. I went to get a bowl for some cereal, but the first three bowls I selected to eat from had pasta stuck to their insides. The only available cereal was one which mixed all of the uneaten parts of the other cereals together...granola, corn pops, rasin bran and Wheaties (TM) (someone must have picked through it and eaten all the fruitloops). They were out of all milk but chocolate, but it really didn't taste any worse than a normal day in the cafeterium.
