i guess you had to be there
2001-11-30 - 4:58 p.m.
�...and what, with your two-year old on the way...� -Nemo, to Don (who has a 1.8yr old kid)
Went to a CAPS meeting. The A stands for �activities�, but I forget what the rest of the letters mean. (In this respect, it resembles ADHD: I know the H stands for �hyper�, but I just dun�t have the attention span to remember the remaining letters.)
Before the meeting, myselves attended a lecture on incarceration by some ex-prisoners (not necessarily criminals) about why the incarceration system in America sucks soo bad, and why it�s prubly the best type of system ever made for the re-integration of �criminals� into society. Very realistic, very accurate account of the system in general, and I commend them for upholding their unique and optimistic-yet-doubtful views on the situation. Mainly, the problem that �criminals� don�t get another chance. People don�t hire you if you have a ring in your ear, let alone living behind bars for a few years. It�s a stain on your shirt that you can�t get rid of, and you can�t change shirts, because the capitol won�t let you have the capital to buy a new one. We can�t forget that some parts of our culture are not very different from prisons. We cannot forget that �cells� in a spreadsheet were named as such because a guy with a lack of freedom in his own marital situation thought that the biological version [of cells] looked like cells of a prison. Today, people (composed of billions of living cells) do work with these cells [in a program called Excell (tm)], in small rooms called cells, for panels and boards of people organized in cells, so that the �big cell� can make money to buy minutes on his cell phone [and watch movies like �The Cell�.]. We, outside of the prison cell, don�t only live In the cell...we live For the cell.
One thing that was said at the lecture was that �No one wakes up one day and says, �I want to be a criminal�; no one wakes up and says, �I want to go to prison�...�And while I agree to this statement, it is a wear and malnourished agreement. I do believe that some people wake up and say �I want to take advantage of someone� or during the course of a day says �I really get a kick out of taking advantage of people�. There are some people that wake up and think �I wish so-and-so were dead�, and even while they might not act on that impulse (until they get intoxicated), that is frame of mind that is injected into our thoughts by the culture, by our televisions (and of course, in any population, there�s gonna be that 2% that actually carry out this behavior, however absurd compared to their absurd personal values). Girls and Boys alike think that they need to have a boyfriend or girlfriend at all times in order to be personally fulfilled, and no one thinks that it might be their own (absurd) values that cause the insecurity that they are feeling from not being involved in a relationship 24/7. Maybe everyone should have to go through a training course in antisocial thinking before we can allow them to be social. Just a thought.
Korean roommate was sick, and me being drunk...I told him to �eat some grass�. This was probably uncalled for. But I was drunk, and the world has this odd justification for the behavior of intoxicated people.
Before the comment, Boole would argue that I had to have drinken, at some point: �I�m drunk. Increased memory, decreased proprioception and reaction time...everything seems to happen without all the in-between times. Can still express exactly what I want to. Some people are angry drunks. I happen to be a polite drunk. I make sure to say my pleases and thank-yous and even my goodnights, but the weirdness just isn�t there...just an over-articulated, self-centered English major type.�
If you�re a girl, and friends with a girl, (assuming �normal� sexual preferences; which are, of course, completely relative) the girl will tell you that your new boyfriend is cute, until you break up with him, at which point she�ll say he was an asshole from the start. If you�re a girl, and friends with a guy, (again, assuming �normal� sexual preferences; which are, of course, completely relative and operating on a gradient), the guy-friend seems to have an �asshole� impression about every other one of your boyfriends. If he knew them beforehand, he�ll tell you what he thinks of the boyfriend as a person, whereas the girl-friend will only say something bad about the boyfriend if she�s known your current boyfriend on a former or current intimate level...It seems that Freud may have been right about himself and his time period, but *this* is the psychology of the Generation-I. I was going to say something on this subject, but it�s all there, for those that are willing to think in that direction.
This world is full of bullshitters and liars. There was this guy whose name isn�t worth mentioning, told me that he�s been playing chess for years...an old pro. I�ve been iching to paly chess all year...just one good game of chess is all I wanted for Christmas (but an on-campus dance wouldn�t be too bad of a stocking stuffer). I slaughtered the kid...he had killed two of my pawns and a knight...but this wasn�t the problem. You see, there�s this thing in chess, castling. And he didn�t know about it. Didn�t know about promotions either (another simple, yet essential part of the game). I felt a bit like I was making up the game as we went, which was silly because if you�ve ever read any set of rules on chess...grrr. And no once else seems to know as much as this kid, as far as chess goes. What I�m trying to say is...I miss a certain person out there. I miss palmetto seeds in the morning, and writing stories in crayon by the woodstove.
