amish swimwear
2001-09-26 - 1:25 p.m.
Watching a movie in leadership about racism and sexual preferences in Columbus College. I was commenting to myselves earlier how people appear to change skin colour depending on the light, popping in and out of...I can�t even remember the rest of the thought. The movie burnt that brain cell off, and I can see people in colour again. I notice who�s white and who�s not, I remember that one of my roommates is from Asia, and feel insecure because I�m not sure of my own nationality. It�s all silliness, of course, but these freackin� NAZI versus black panthers stuff will instill racial recognition in one�s head. And realizing that there is a problem is the first step to having a problem.
In the first couple weeks of college, I picked up quite a few petnames, so I just thought I�d list them here. Weirdo, Aaron, Ball of Sugarhigh, The Toothbrushing Guy, Coke Man (with a thumbs up and mild Mexican accent), Mr Anatomy, Billy the (Smart) Kid, and of course, Jae.
I got pelted with an acorn; damn squirrels. They seem to be engaged in a fight with the crows for the best scraps on campus, and I wouldn�t be surprised if one of these days I saw a ground-to-air acorn knock a crow out of the air. So recently they�ve been getting courageous started picking on animals larger than their own size. Just gotta chatter back at them, tell �em who�s higher on the food chain. Chtk-chtk.
Sidenote: I tells ya, wearing one of these shirts is like having an invisible person feeling yourself up all the time. I just can�t get over it. Shutting up now.
Related Sidenote: I need a girlfriend-thing. It�s been nine months. I should be over her by now. I should.
Work study is still great. I went in special today, just fer kicks. The head pooter guru-guy, Don, amazes me. He was going to continue his education by studying crime-scene forensics, specializing in the way blood splatters on a wall. Instead, he went to college to study circuit board engineering, and got bored with the curriculum. This is a man that knows how to decode and replicate hardware serial keys for top-notch software. He gets to crack puns and pun cracks, with an occasional serious moment for firewall disappearance.
Revelation: I�m a very blunt person. If I had to suffer traumas to the head, I�d still wish that everyone else was just as blunt as me. But that would be awful, so I wont wish that.
This is earth-shattering. Black and Mild cigars. As a child, I always said that �the best smell on earth� is what I called �vanilla cigarettes�...a smell that I couldn�t even define. Even now, when I catch a scent of that smell, it�s ecstasy; bringing me back to my lost childhood. Follow it around, try to find what makes it...but I didn�t find any answers until today. After psychology, I followed someone back to his dorm...struck up a conversation with him just to have an excuse to smell him. To smell the cigar in his hand. This is earth-shattering. He smokes them after weed, which he smoked before class. The smell has something to do with one of Mum�s boyfriends...maybe an acute trauma, maybe a chronic set of acutes. It�s as if part of my brain has escaped from Alcatraz. I can access a scant few neurons from the �bad� section of my brain, the runn-down hostels of the deviant neurons. These neurons don�t play nice. All I know is that I can�t smoke them...I can�t let in any memories that have been blocked out, because I know that they were forgotten for a reason.
Sidenote: I�m wearing one of my ribbed CK shirts. Makes me just wanna put lipgloss on and be a model (ooo, and eyeliner to boot!). Eventually [but never soon enough] I slap myself in the forehead with some Category5 network cable, and all the brain cells start seeping back in.
Mr. Korean roommate smokes more weed than I ever hope to. He�s got a friend/dealer in Boston, and spent last weekend getting so messed up that he passed out walking into the dorms. So maybe you can overdose on weed (but then again, maybe he was just exhausted from high levels of activity with the girl he�s cheating on his girlfriend with).
There are many certainties in life, and here are two. If you feed a mouse a cookie, it�s gonna want a glass of milk. And if you don�t smack the shyt outta someone when they do something wrong, they�re never gonna know what it means to be �right� (and maybe there�s nothing wrong with that).
It�s really annoying me that I�m not the most muscular person in my environment. Compared to most of the guys here, I�m even considered short. This is oddness. Although becoming most buff person on campus would relax some of the nerves in my head, I decided against buying creatine (natural steroid-type stuff).
You would think that in order to find a girlfriend-thing, all one would need to do would be to find a girl-thing who is looking for a boyfriend-thing. Turns out that the world isn�t so logical.
