hug: simple, expressive, smile.
2001-09-07 - 2:34 a.m.
My shoes have gone missing. This is slightly ironic because we just finished watching �Barefoot in the Park� until quarter-past-two in the morrow. Still have English to do, and a quiz in �leadership� that might actually require me to read the chapter and memorize lame holistic words that describe human processes in their most basic sense. Might be up all night for entertainment�s sake, but I have coke and a whole weekend in which to catch up on sleep.
Sidenote: �Tell ya what...you sign it, and we got a deal.� I was the first to but Rocco�s (Mortuary Law instructor) book. I sorta understand where he�s coming from, being published for the first time, nervous and squeamish to see if the reader likes it, even though he�s practiced as an accomplished lawyer And a funeral director/mortician. I�ll read through it this weekend, if I get the chance.
I walked past sumone today whom I�ve never met. Unsaid person made some sort of comment about me being �too much of a country bumpkin�. This really got me thinking about the possibility that one Could be too much of a bumpkin, and myselves eventually agreed that such a thing was impossible. I�m proud to be a bumpkin, yo. It�s like...it�s my blood mann...my heritage and shyt. Ya know what I�m sayin� bro, you no? Gotta be practical, yo. Gotta realize that we don�t need a lotta things in life jus� �cuz the TV tell us we do. Gotta be able to think for ourselves every once in a while, and make up thin�s to do when there isn�t a movie theater within twenty miles. Gotta eat a little dirt in with our diets, �cuz it�s jus� ain�t outta-the-garden if�n it�s got no dirt. Gotta get jiggy and dance in the rain on warm moonlight nights. Gotta have character, ya no what I�m sayin�, what I�m sayin�? yeahhh, damn straight, you no how it is, yo. Jus� not American if you not Bumpkin, yo.
It�s public high school all over again. I get to hear people complain that they hate writing, and can�t understand the basics of protein synthesis. There are people that think all relationships are interpersonal, and don�t even consider the existence of any relationship beyond the realm of a boyfriend/girlfriend. I may very well have been the only person that passed the first anatomy quiz. The professor, when asking a question of the class, excluded me from being able to answer, even though I wasn�t, and haven�t so far, raised my hand. We�ve developed an understanding that I already know this stuff, and I�m just there to humor his commentaries on the effects of bi-lipid membranes on the price of weed in China. This goes back to English 101 (which by the way, I am in because they WILL NOT ALLOW freshman to take any higher English classes, even if their writing is better than professional writers, and I�m fine with this, because any English class is basically practice anyhow) when the teacher asked if I wanted to tech the class...my goal, by the end of the year is to get her to say the same thing without the sarcasm.
Me (psychology class): �What evidence is there for free will?�
Psychology professor: *grinding* �None. Whatsoever. But I reallyreally want to believe in it...�
I got a letter from Mum. She gave me twenty bucks that I�ll have to remember to slip back into her purse when I visit next (maybe on Thanksgiving). And then a couple pictures, of me on graduation day with the rest of my biological family. Looking into the background, I get uncontrollable thoughts about my high school having a certain quality of �smallness�. This was my pond, and I was a shark. But I see it happening in college too...in the friends that I have and the way people talk to me...there�s a level of respect that shows their gratitude of my presence/influence. Gratitude without amiability.
Sidenote: My step-uncle, Sam (formerly known as John) is in my major at my college. If I haven�t mentioned him before, I don�t want him to be confuzzled with my formerly abusive step-father Jeffery. Sam is the Jewish schizophrenic one. I went to his synagogue-wedding last year, and he and Larry (husband-thing) are still very happy. Larry has been having some problems with balance lately, and the sad hand of old age is soon to be on him. Sam and Larry are living with another guy now, whose name has slipped my mind, but Sam mentioned a bit of triangular sexual tension in the living relationships.
I miss the snow. I thought when I got down to mass I�d be all cunfuzzled by the wampum-big cities, and I�d miss the trees. But it�s the snow. This is odd, because even if I was in Maine now, there�d be no snow. But for some reason, I wouldn�t miss not having it if I was in Maine. I�d say I miss the people too, but there�s only two people I�d even care to talk to, even if I was in Maine.
Narrator: And so continues the trial and tribulations of a coke fiend, trying to quit.
Sir#1: *barging into Sir#2�s sleeping quarters* mornin�!
Sir#2: Shyt man, what time is it?
Sir#1: A little after 7. I wake up from 6 to 7 every morning...you�re just a sleepyhead.
Sir#2: *looking straight through Sir#1 and into the wall* You know, you�re killing yourself.
Sir#1: *drinks a half-litre of (warm) morning coke* I�ve always been in a process of killing myself, dear Sir. Every day, I loose another day of my life.
