The True And The Blue
2001-08-31 - 11:56 p.m.
�How many of you are there?! Didn�t I just see you go in that direction a minute ago?� -Josh, RA
The tooth fairy was the bestest elf that ever became a dentist. She lived in their hearts and their legends, and eventually no one believed that such a kind and loverly goddess could exist. Over the centuries, she built her castle out of the slobbery remains of teething children and babysmiles. How fortunately for me, to know her personally.
Revelation: There is no such thing as a bad person. This is not to say, however, that all people are persons.
College: Day7. My spit is sort of a reddish-orange today. My Thursdays are gonna be really packed from here on out...class from 8am to 9pm, with a total of about 4 hours in breaks. I didn�t have my anatomy lab this morning, so I used the extra time to fix a couple printers on campus and finish an extensive anatomy outline for this week�s lecture. The harder they pull me, the harder I find I can push myself; and right now, they�re not really meeting up to my standards of a �college workload�. Must get more jobs. But they won�t let me work on anything until the 10th, so maybe I�ll just spend sum time at Wellesley. Erg. I get very annoyed by the way that psychologists discuss �things� in their fields. They�ve stuck the entire field with babywords and touchie-feely humanitarian bullshyt. Although, I did learn something today in psyche. I learned that I must have gained all of my brains from my mother because she was a nice cuddly Mum when I was little, and cuddling stimulates brain activity for later developments. On the same note, I�m beginning to realize why I don�t have a Conscience. A Soul. Interchangeable.
The sunset was beautiful tonight. Blues and greens and golds everywhere. Unfortunately, I didn�t get to see it, because I got out of class well after the show was over. The moon, on the other hand, was pretty nice. It was big and round a yellow, like cheese before it gets green...one of those moons that might have inspired the phrase �the whole enchilada�.
Ossifer#1: Hey buddy!
Me: Hiii....
Ossifer#1: What you doin�?
Me: Lying out here, drinkin� coke...
Ossifer#1: On a sawed-off tree stump all by yourself? Where are all of your friends?
Me: In their dorms, probably. Might have gone to bet already. But the logs are friendly. *points to a ring of sitting-logs in a ring around the tree stump*
Ossifer#1: So...this is coke? Can I smell it?
Me: Sure...
Ossifer#1: *sniffs some coke* I find it really hard to believe that you�re out here by yourself. *looks at the logs suspiciously, maybe wondering if he should give the breathalyzer tests*
Me: Nope, just me and the coke. And the logs, can�t forget the logs...*turns to Ossifer#2* You want some coke?
Ossifer#2: Uhh, ummm, no. Thanks.
Ossifer#1: You smokin� anythin�?
Me: Nope...
Ossifer#1: What�ve you got in your pockets? (this is where he gets good riddle points, for being Tolkien-esque)
Me: School ID...Bottle cap...Class schedual. Paper with some writing on it...*proudly displays items to the ossifer*
Ossifer#1: *looking at ID* Okay. And how do you pronounce your name? *pronounces incorrectly*
Me: *pronounces correctly*
Ossifer#1: Oh, alright then. I�m not sure about the safety restrictions on being out here...*trails off, excuses himself, and leaves through the leaves*
Me: *hops back onto my tree stump* Erg...now I gotta get all comfy again...
More concrete evidence that cops are just funny little [albeit misunderstood] people. More to come, I�m sure.
Later:
Me: *walk up to Ossifer#3, who talking to someone* *wave*
Ossifer#3: Uhhh, hi. Do live in room 18?
Me: Uh-umm.
Ossifer#3: Then you�re not involved with this. Move along please.
Me: *makes a sad face and keeps walking*
Slightly later:
Ossifer#4: *drives up in a inconspicuous pickup truck* You doin� alright?
Me: Mmm-hmm! *smiles*
Ossifer#4: Are you...brushing your teeth?
Me: Mmm-hmm!
Ossifer#3: Oh, cool. *smiles and thumbs up*
Me: Mmm! *smiles and two thumbs up*
Wrestling: bringing the world together, one half-nelson at a time.
College: Day8. Tried to buy my books, but couldn�t, because the money hasn�t cleared in my checking account. And after the money had cleared, I missed the window of time in which I could have bought my books today. After my clases, I got bored and made an alien and a human hand out of meatballs in Bryce5. Someday, I�ll have a complete meatball person and an alien-eating tofu animation to contribute to the world. Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to limit their contributions to a mere two cents.
At some point, I started to be known as �the guy who brushes his teeth� to the other people in my dorm. For some reason, they are amazed that I can brush my teeth and walk in an erect position st the same time. Next week, I plan to amaze them by chewing gum and walking at the same time.
After my classes had ended and the evil carcinogens yellow sun set, I took a short walk around campus and found a good bench to lay down on. I changed benches twice to get that perfect angle of the moon creeping out over the top of a brick building. It seems to me that (given any set of objects) there are at least several dozen beautiful angels to look at the system from. So I watched clouds for nearly an hour and practiced the art of inducing blindness without closing my eyes. Next month, I hope to master the ability to pick up one-litre bottles of soda with my tongue. In the sky before me, two warrior-brothers (whom I named Dom and Dim) arose from the east, joined at the middle like so many living playing card. It seemed neither was greater than the other, each in a symmetric pose of the other, showing off their scars and medals of previous cloud-battles. But before they reached the zenith of the sky, it was clear that the brothers were at odds, and one brother was loosing the fight. I watched as Dom rose to power, and Dim�s head faded into nothingness. Dim�s torso formed the legs of the mightier warrior Dom, and as lightning flashed, he screamed a victorious war cry, and challenged the recently risen serpent of the west to test his deady dance in the clouds.
On my way back to the dorms, Josh waved me over. He�s an RA here, a senior in Business Management, and a very cheerie floppy-wristed fellow. He introduced me to some other non-freshmen: Jesse, Melissa, Rachel, Tom, and Scott (who I already know trough computer-stuff). Jesse and I wrestled on the lawn, and tied at pins...one-to-one. There was many happy red marks and grass stains to be had, and of course Josh took the opportunity to dust me off after the matches were over. They invited me up to their dorm and I hung out for a bit before they had to excuse me; they were going to be drinking, and couldn�t chance the presence of a minor. I don�t know how to describe it, but these people were bursting with realness. The type of people that will say what they mean, mean what they say, and try not to be mean about it all at the same time, without loosing the meaning of what they�re trying to say...I�m going to visit Wellesley College tomorrow, to see Amanda and maybe help her move in, if�n she hasn�t done so by the time I get there.
Revelation: All guys are gay, given all guys are wankers. When a person makes an �o� with their hand, it cannot be doubted that there is, within the hand, a hole. It is also without dispute that the material surrounding the hole belongs to a man. Thus, when wankers wank, they are screwing the hole of a man.
Related Sidenote: Pessimists who have watched Fight Club (TM) think self-improvement is masturbation. Optimists who have watched fight club consider the alternative: masturbation is self-improvement.
Art: A ballet of forks. I�ll need a vice and an assortment of pliers. It�ll have to be on a ceiling, to get that whole Michelangelo aspect. They could even be placed one-a-day, for an added inspiring-awe factor. I�m just hoping the cafeteria won�t notice...I still sorta need sumthing to stick �em into...the best art is that which is not allowed to be expressed by society.
Sidenote: There�s two guys in my suite blasting rock music; one slow, the other fast. I�ve never heard either song. Musical ecstasy. This is why I live in �the party dorm�. If only someone else would blast some Bach, because I�m greedy for more input parameters.
In Wolrd News Today: I saw cute-librarian-girl at lunch today. And she�s an ice-tea drinker. This will never work. But she looked at me. Looked at me in that way that people do when they�re surprised for just a second that you might actually be real. That fraction of a moment (which is, of course, still a moment) in which you look at someone and think that they might be Mighty Mouse...and then you see the normal human-type beady eyes, and realize they much more resemble Underdog.
