on the third day of college, my true love gave to me...
2001-08-26 - 10:59 p.m.
The following story was not originally true, but many pardons to anyone who might have had a similar experience, and want to sue me for stealing their life story...Once upon a time, there was a fetus, named JasonTheFetus. And this particular fetus had one pinky. Or rather, it had two pinkies, but they were joined together in a single Siamese pinky, with two fingernails, but only three fat joints between them. Of course, when JasonTheFetalBaby was promoted to JasonTheBaby upon his birth, the pinky was cut into two pinkies. Once could say the pinkies were separated at birth. And so it was that when JasonTheSmallChild was growing up, the pinkies found great comfort in the temporary solace of Chinese finger traps, but still longed to be joined at the hip once again. They were so close, in fact, that they seemed to share the same essence. When one pinky fell to the ground and got a booboo, the other pinky would bear the brunt of the torture. When one pinky bathed in Coke, the other would receive that slightly orgasmic carbonation-on-skin feeling. When one pinky felt a sneeze coming on...well, you get the idea. So one day this JasonTheKid stubbed his left pinky on a door, and started sucking on his right, as a conditioned reaction. They all asked why, why he did such odd things as sucking on the finger that didn�t hurt...so he told them this story about his Siamese pinkies.
Sidenote: Can�t help but drag my fingertips over my skull in a menacing manner. This is your brain. This is your brain without the internet.
I used to make up extra rules for games. The original games were just too simple for me. But no one would play, because they thought my rules were �silly� or too complicated.
Battleship: Each ship can move twice a game, up to a distance of it�s size in peg-holes, and not onto a hole that . If shot once, a ship can pivot around that hole, but if shot twice, the ship cannot move. All �dead� ships must remain in the water to restrict the movement of the remaining ships.
Scrabble: Must be played with an odd number of players, but can be very interesting with just two. Players can make up their own words, as long as they are plausible (by vote of all players) or if they make at least one other player laugh. Everyone wins.
StarWars Monopoly: I�m not going to go into great detail with this one, but suffice to say that there were rules for engaging in a battle with other players, and special abilities for each of the characters (Darth Vader could blow up a planet (goes back to the bank), but there was a lot of red tape involved.) You could make your own tie-fighters, x-wings, millennium falcons, and star destroyers...and destroy other player�s starports and take over their colonies.
Point-Blank: I really can�t take the credit for this one. Step-father was the original game-maker, as far as I can remember. One person says �point�, the other person says �blank�. The game continues as each player says the first word that comes to mind, spawned by the last word that was said. If someone repeats a word, they get a point, and the first person to three points is �out�.
Rhyme, Shlime: Pick a word. Players alternate, thinking of words that rhyme with the original word, and making up words when they exhaust the real possibilities. The fun comes in the definitions, because if you make up a new word, you have to say what the word would mean.
Maybe my games expected too much of people...even today, no one wants to play by my rules. No one wants to live in my reality.
Revelation: Sometimes, I can�t believe what I�m saying. Other times, I can�t believe what I�ve said.
College: Day2. Took placement tests today. My algebra/college algebra was in the 90+ percentile, but my trig was �good� at 40%. They put me one step ahead of the average mathematically literate shmoe, but my English is the normal type of class. Another generic, lame, English, class. I�ve been writing since...well, a long time ago. I�ve created my own variations to the English language because the redundancy of typical English bores the hell outta me. Mythic and Pop Culture I could deal with, because they had something todo with things outside the realm of a language I already know enough of and a activity that I do for a hobby. So, without further adieu, let�s go through the more �real� people I�ve met so far. I met Evie and Alana when I came down for a visit last time...Alana seems to be doing her own thing now, but when Evie finally found me (walking into our first assembly-thing) she put a death grip on my arm and made some cute little squeaky noises. Evie and I took a college bus down to Newton Center today, where we bought ice cream (she insisted she pay for hers) and sat on a little rock wall to talk. After stopping by a few oddshops, we hoped another bus to Dedham mall to browse for an Enya CD and some Latin music-things. We played the video games in Circuit City and checked our respective e-mail before heading back to the bus station. This is where we met CJ (or at least, I think those are the right letters...his non-nickname is Conroy). CJ is a Mariah Carrie fan and a psychology major who lives in the floor above Evie�s with a guy named Michel. The Michel guy very much reminds me of Kevin from MCI that liked/obsessed over Sarah, in that he has the same build...but that�s where the similarities stop. Michel doesn�t have a creepy deep voice or a cookie monster, and I�m decently sure his teeth haven�t been sharpened. Later on, when Evie had decided to call it a g�night, I stayed in Michel and CJ�s room to watch �Autumn in New York� (mostly because I think that the actress-person from �Girl, Interrupted� is cute, and she was even cuter in this one.) Not a very exciting sort of movie, nowhere near Pi...but there were some good shots of butterflies and snowdrifts on windowsills...so if anything else, it wasn�t an artistically retarded movie. After the movie, I was walking back to my dorm and saw newly-spiked-hair-Amanda talking with some other people in the lounge-type area, and I stopped in to say �hi� (I met Amanda at breakfast that morning; one of those short smiley people who can talk and talk, but the weird thing is that she seems to Say something while she does it). I ended up chatting with this group for a bitsie before we all transferred to Chris and Aaron�s room to watch a comedy movie with Chris Rock. Chris is from somewhere in Massachusetts I think; Aaron graduated from Nokomis and is in the Funeral Service major with me. Odd...we mentioned Jen for a minute, and then it just sort of...passed. When the girls left to go back to their dorm at about two in the morning, I took the opportunity to go across the hall to my own room for the night. Aaron said �hey, don�t be a stranger, a�ight?� and it just made me feel so much more at home (at least he didn�t say �y�all come back now y�hear?�). Now, it may be that I just find it easier to relate to people from my home state, but Mainers seem very real...take Ricki for example, who I met in my orientation group...he�s from Maine such-and-such, and happens to live somewhere else on my floor. This guy, the embodiment of your ideal/basic �Mainiac�, is just another cuddly sort of fellow. Not in a physical sense, but in the way he talks, and the way I�ve seen him deal with people. Relaxed, like he knows extensively what �matters� and what doesn�t; straightforward, almost to the point/edge of bluntness; and generally considerate to other people, holding doors open for them and trying to explain why he doesn�t use to word �bitch� in every other sentence (as a several people here seem todo).
Revelation: None is so lonely as he who has lost his friends And himself.
College: Day1. I believe this day was created primarily to exercise the power of our buttockses (pl?). We sat around for most of today and played name games. Sat in circles in the Athletic Center and they passed out candy...somehow, this took an hour and a half. I really wish classes would start. I have three roommates, but so far only James and Wonho have showed up. Wonho has been here for three days already, and I dunno how he could have survived the boredom. I have no fridge, which means that I can�t store my coke anywhere, and the 20oz bottles cost a dollar in the hallway...too expensive for my blood, even if it is coke. Fortunately, I�ve been weaning myself off of coke all summer, and I was down to an average of half a liter to a liter in a week, before I left. Football. Everywhere. I do not entirely regret this decision, but I�m starting to rethink it. I walked down the street a ways and sat by a tree to think my little Pooh thoughts. There�s really no reason for me to be here...I�m incredibly out of place, etcetera etcetera. I really don�t feel like I should have made it past high school...times were fun, and things were good. It could have ended there, with a �happily ever after�. And then I think...maybe �no reason� is the best reason. Todo anything at all. Just do something that you don�t normally do, and let fate shove you around until you find out where you�re susposed ta be. *sigh* Got back to the room a little after midnight, both roommates are already asleep. I think this may become a normal thing.
My cat�s not one for sappy goodbyes. We sat on the steps sharing a cup of apple cider, and watching the cars dive by in the post-dawn mist...it made me feel strangely like a cat...not talking, but not needing to. Just watching the movements of things, and reviling in that particular �comfortable� feeling.
College: Day3. I�m wasting time before brunch, typing *this* (I got my own internet set up yesterday). The weight room on campus is open nearly the whole day, so I might spend some extra time there, on a normal morning-day. Gotta find out about work service, even though it doesn�t start until mid/early-September. It�s a new day, with new horizons and all that stuff. I have yet to find my �caf� on the other side of graduation�; it seems that it�s further along and farther out than I�d hoped it would be. Have a wonderful day everyone, and smile, �cuz everyone else likes it when you light up their life with a bit of happiness.
