redundagmites
2001-07-29 - 11:41 p.m.
Nothing sounds repetitive, if you say it enough times.
Went shopping today. Wel, some would call it shopping. Most people choose to use the more accurate title of switching-prices-on-merchandise-and-hoping-nobody-notices. And yes, I am completely aware that it was Sunday today; but a certain store opened it�s doors for a special exclusive sale type thing. A four-finger discount on top of an exclusive sale is quite the deal, and I think I got all the clothes I�ll need for college for slightly more than $34. Minus boxers. There�s just something immoral about cheating a store out of it�s undergarments. But onto the real adventure. I used the term �four-finger discount� above because while I was �shopping� I came across some defective manikin parts. You guessed it, a plastic hand with the ring finger broken completely off. So I carted the defective hand over to the manager, telling him of my intent to purchase this lovely trinket (not to mention a few spare feet, two crotch displays, and an extra torso), for the purpose of Art. But he gets all red in the face and tells me that �unfortunately, we aren�t permitted to sell those items�. So, unfortunately, I�ll have to relieve them of some of their defective manikin parts on a later date (already having cheated them out of my quota, and not wanting to carry around plastic people as well as my �purchases�).
If you can�t bench twice your own weight, you might as well settle for being Human. I got annoyed by MSN (TM) and the new Children�s Online Privacy Protection Act (TM), so I just started up my own site and e-mail. My new e-mail address will now be [email protected] My Snow Man�s Land Comix will also be available on the site, and I�d be delighted to hear of any new ideas; it�s already been suggested that I do more with the penguins.
All of my siblings went downstate for a couple days, making this place exceptionally cold and lifeless. So, so cold...too cold to sleep, even though I was exhausted. Thanx goes out to You, whom I�ve already thanked for being awake.
Because I went into such depth with McLuhan in my last entry, I thought that I�d detail the tools of the �intellectual� in this one. The first and foremost tool of linguistic confusion and confustication is that of repetition. It is a classic fact that any word or sting of words, used over and over and over again, will sound entirely meaningless by the end of a script. This eliminates the smartest of readers, because they most likely will know what you�re talking about the first time, and repetition will drive them to doubt whether they really even know how to pronounce the point that you are trying to establish. Say �toy boat� one-hundred times over, and see if you really know what a boat is...or for that matter, what a toy is, and why the two ahev any reason to be used together. Another crafty tool, torribly overused by the �intellectual�, is that of neologisms. A neologism is the creation of a new word which, in itself, is self-explanatory, or contrarywise, the creation of an old word, to which is added much more description, to give the word a new meaning. For example, �rectaliation�, is a word that suggests �revenge by way of shitting� (credit goes to a guy named �Stan�). But neologism can also be used to redefine such simple words as �meaning�, leaving one rather confused as to what the meaning of �meaning� is, and if that �meaning� has it�s own meaning. Another antilogical component, used by nearly every �great mind� of what we are told is the post-modern era, is that of backward definitions. An author will say �as everyone knows, (insert totally bogus theory here), which rightly justifies (insert well-known fact here)�. And, as is quite obvious, the author has lead the reader to believe their point, because of the simple association of the well-known-fact statement. The reader, in all their bull-headedness does not allow themselves to contradict the author, for fear of revealing that they do not know what the author has told them is common knowledge (which is really the writer�s own demented perception of reality). And the last, but not final necessary tool for a certified �intellectual� is that of cleaver manipulation of bullshyt. As seen in McLuhan�s first few sentences of �Understanding Media�, in which he denounces the �splitting and dividing all things as a means to control�, but used this exact method in every one of his following arguments. But usually, bullshyt is used as filler, which is in this case, the bullshyt. A sentence that, when actually considered, means nothing whatsoever, and only exists to reiterate points that have been restated to make a book thicker and therefore more intellectual-esque. And that, my friend, is what you have to watch out for in the jungle of the media; because it�s not the sharpened bamboo that kills you...it�s the bull shit on the pongee stick that does you in.
Rose m�dear, if you are ever thinking of not going to college because of the money, just call me in on a wish (because I always have a couple floating around), and I�ll get the goblins to see what they can do. There�s simply no reason in the world why someone as bright as you shouldn�t be going to college.
Futrejason met a man in Calgary, and gave him a pair of boots. When he asked what happened to Futurejason�s shirt, he said that he�d given it to someone several miles ago. And for some reason, the stranger would not accept the boots after that.
