DMV goblins and tofu
2001-07-13 - 1:47 p.m.
Friday the 13th. I�m susposed to have my license right now, susposed to be down in Pittsfield. Actually, today, I was susposed to be looking for �things� inside a cursed house downstate. When I was 16, I was decently sure that I�d be in the process of taking over the world *this* summer, via a charitable organization. And then I found out what �charity� means, and all my dreams were shot. But I�m alright with this, because I wouldn�t really want control of the world...too many dirt specs to take care of, you know?
Sidenote: I have recently discovered the ability to swallow one�s own head. And it turns out, all you really need is really large neck muscles on the sides (way too many pushups) and a weak vertebrae (way too much Coke).
It suddenly hit me yesterday, that I have Nothing todo. I�ve been doing Nothing this whole summer. Reading books that are acclaimed to be �the best�, and Knowing that I�ve read better. The short story always kicks the novel�s ass. And bleeding from crescent-shaped digs in the back of my head...what an accomplishment. I was going nutts, and it never occurred to me until then. Something about becoming used to the insanities. So I sat down and tried to write something. �C�mon brain, let�s write, kay?� and nothing worked. And *this* is all I could come up with. After copying this paragraph into computer format, I calmly withdrew myself from my self-made cell and sat cross-legged outside, facing the garage, mentally burning the very thing that I had just typed, and wondering if *this* was a run-on sentence, wondering if any of it really Mattered. I need something to latch onto. Anything. And *this* just isn�t doing it for me.
�Language is amazing stuff...sumtimes I wonder what sorta cloth it�s made of.� �Nemo
For some odd reason, if you didn�t have any pupils, the majority of people around you would assume that you were starring at *them*. What was it that you mentioned about an egocentric society? These are the things that I think about, when the lights go out, and I�m left starring at my college tuition bill in the dark.
My driver�s license is officially the most screwed thing in existence, and I now understand why people don�t like the DMV. In 1998 er �99, the state of Maine made a proposal to increase the amount of driving time and price of Driver Education...for people born in �83 or later (I was born in �83). My school itself was a little screwy, in that DE had to be done during the last few months of school, because of the arrangement of vacations and such. Being the last person to get in his driving time, I received my permit just a couple days before graduation. But the permit was faulty, claiming that �jason� is a female name. To get the corrected permit, I simply had to go to the instructor�s office and pick it up on graduation day...not like I had planned to attend any after-grad parties anyways. But when I got there, the permit was nowhere to be found, and his office was closed. No biggie...I just called him and had it mailed. Later I found out that the corrected permit contained a different date of issue, and therefore deleted the driving hours (about fifteen) that are required of me to apply for my Driver�s License Test. Now, granted, this is all pretty messed up, but I got mail from the DMV today. It used to be that if you were 18, you didn�t need to wait three months after the issue of your permit to apply for the DLT. Last year, they raised this age to 20, which means that I can�t apply for my DLT until September, at which time I won�t even be in this state anymore. What all of this means of course, is that I can�t drive with Sarah out to her college. There will no final �road trip� before we separate for at least two years. Neither of us are planning to come back to Maine for a long time. I�m gonna miss her oodles of bunches, and it�s all the fault of the goblins at work in the DMV.
�...I knew I�d find you out there in the concession stand. Eyeballin� those plain M&Ms. And the lights from above had come down and sparklin� off those M&Ms and picked up the color and reflect off your eyes and my eyes and the chemistry between you and me was just sumthin� that...I can�t think about right now, because I�ve got doggies to bring in.� �Rawhide, The Trenchcoats
New e-mail address. (edit:removed) Because we, as humanlings, are all just lumps of tofu for the aliens, when you think about it. To prove this point, I would like to express the similarities that are shared between our race and the race of tofu-ites.
- tofu comes in many shapes, sizes, colours, and flavours.
- tofu, once produced, has a relatively consistent structure and behaviour.
- tofu comes in �firm� and �soft� variations.
- tofu was made by accident.
- tofu spends the majority of it�s time sitting around, waiting for someone to use it, so it can feel �appreciated�.
