Where Thesauruses Fear To Tread
2001-06-01 - 11:50 a.m.
A tsktsk goes out to all those binary minds who say �this is beautiful, and this is not. This is black. This is real. This is funn.� For you cannot get the whole meaning of the painting that is life if you allow yourself to envision it through a monochromatic lens.
I suspose that it is about time to delve into the inner werkings of jasonlanguage, once again. Caps. I use double consonants to denote an idealistic from of the werd. In the same sense, caps are used to express a more extreme meaning. Here are sum examples. Jane ran: Jane was, at one point, running. She has most likely stopped since. Jane rann: Jane was running a programme on her computer. Jane Ran: Jane ran her ass off, �til she couldn�t run no more. Ooo, that was fun, let�s do another, shal we? Billy committed a sin (religious injustice): Billy pissed in the holy water. Billy committed a sinn (social injustice): Billy beat up his grandmother in the parking lot. Billy committed a Sin (wampum-big injustice): Billy made someone�s penis disappear in Nigeria.
The PC peoples have been arguing a long time about this s/he crap. What new werd to construe so that we can have an unbiased personal pronoun. If they knew enough about their language, they would have found out that this has long since been accomplished. In the english language, �you� can be singular and plural. In this same manner, the werd �I� should be used ambiguously to denote a singular or plural person. What is a person, but a composite of parts, a multitude of internal essences? Following this logic, we already have a term for the plural of �he�, �she�, and the semi-derogatory �it�. This werd, therefore, may also be used ambiguously to reference the pronouns above. *Ambiguousity (and vague-ality) are the price of a working language. As for new werds, here�s one. Ohm: A unit of energy, usually gained from meditation on top of a vending machine. Yas: A personalized version of the werd 'you'. Very direct, but with a enhanced cuteness quality. Plural or singular. Ambiguousity: The quality of something to be known by everyone, but not spoken of. Vague-ality: The quality of something to be unknown to everyone, even though people talk to each other about it all the time.
In the end, this world is exactly what you Want it to be. You wake up in the morning, and wish that the day would go faster...whiz by so you can get back to bed. But by the end of the day, you�re so bogged down with work that you need extra time to finish it...thereby lengthening the day back o the normal 24 hours. The average person is so confuzzled as to what they really want that any given day is only off by a few second from the time it should be. And no one ever notices the time difference, because we all time our watches to a falling ball in New York City, no matter if our watch is really right or really wrong. Our internal watches, of course, because real watches depend on the speed of time [thus, if time slowed down, they would slow down accordingly, and we wouldn�t be able to measure the difference]. The government covers up our time discrepancy and arrests the �crazies� who speed time ahead just to watch their watch spin [hence, why a watch is called a �watch�]. But the world could be anything. If you want it to be more blue, you will eventually want it to be more orange...and it was previously in it�s prime colour in the first place. To conserve energy, the universe just takes the lump sum of all your wishes, and outs them together...99% of them cancel each other out, and the other 1% go to tunafish sandwiches and spare change. You don�t have to be careful with what you wish for, just wish for the things that you really Want.
On handjobs: �You can play around with it all you want, but it�s nothin� I can�t do on my own.� �Jon (roomate)
There are people, who will just answer the phone and start talking to you. They don�t care who you are, so long as you can listen and talk back. Chances are, they know you, and you know them, so there should be no real need for introductions...just pick up where you left last time. And there are people, who will hang up a phone without having said goodbye.
Catch yas later.
