The Next Best Thing
2001-05-05 - 17:11 p.m.
Scene Two-Oh-Seven, in which Jason realizes that he is one step up from shyt in everyone else�s book, but also realizes that he doesn�t care too much. Time spent lonely is time to find yourself...
*drinking a Capri Sun and trying to figure out what colour it tastes like*
I have a little bit of a black eye that I must have managed to give myself last night. What�s interesting about this is that those fingernail marks on the back of my neck (aka: �diggs�, two Gs to indicate that they were prubly self-inflicted) had just healed over. More interesting is that the diggs on my left side/back had just healed over when I dugg into the back of my neck. Reason #547 why I sleep lonely. Ha. Ha. Also on that note, I discovered a four-inch slightly-deeper-than-cat scratch just below my belly button and another eight-inch scratch on my right thigh. Strangely, I can�t find any blood on my pants or sheets. I don�t think there are �cutts�, but have yet to find a good explanation for them. Maybe I�m subconsciously a glutton for pain.
I�m starting to think that I don�t exactly get back what I put in from the people around me. Like my snowman�s arm was extended longer to accommodate the other snowman�s short reach (to use a Calvin and Hobbes analogy). Nevermatter, it won�t mind soon. I might even end up spending most of the summer alone again....I�m starting to wonder how much of Me was gained from sleepless nights, huddling between white walls. I�m also starting to wonder about being invisible for too long. After graduation, I won�t have the buffer of school to keep myself being seen each day in class. I will be (whether for good or for bad) totally free to be as invisible as I wish. And I�ve been thinking, that if I were to pack up all my stuff and make some excuse, my disappearance wouldn�t even be visible. It might be interesting to be invisible for a year...maybe I could do some invisible hitchhiking over the summer instead.
Was cleaning up my part of the room friday night until two in the morning, because I couldn�t get to sleep. I stumbled across a piece of paper I�ve kept since last summer, when I first called Becca, phonewise. I had written her phone number down, and several things I knew I wanted to say, including �hello�. Don�t think I ever actually looked at the paper once I got talking to her, but it was still there as a lifesaver if I started incoherently drooling (my drooling is usually very coherent). All I really remember now is that my nerveousosity was through the roof.
When Mayterm* hits on 23 May, I plan to disassemble this computer and give Knox all his bits and pieces back. This will have the inadvertent effect of causing my entries to slow, or even stop...and yes, I threaten to do this quite frequently.
So yea, prom tonight was good. They played more music to headbang to than dance one-on-one to, but such is the informality of such a supposedly formal ceremony when it�s attended by none but the �best and brightest�. I met a kickass person, another Jessica, who�s spent the last couple years in Germany and is really into punk. I�ll prubly never see combat boots that look quite so tempting. We stayed up all night talking about this-that-and your-mother with a few other peoples. I played a couple games of solitaire-ish point blank and tried to finish the last two blocks of my unsquare rubix cube (the only thing I accomplished was changing the colour/orientation of the two misplaced stickers.) But back to prom...I tried to flagg down a truck with a �NO PARKING FIRE LANE� sign. I headbanged until my right ear bled, took my shirt off, and headbanged some more. Then I took a bit of Sour Patch Kid dust up my nose. I also, as self-promised, carried on a tradition of giving a crown to one of the people at prom, an award for extravagance in dancing. There weren�t any flowers this year, so I made it out of a Dixie (TM) cup, a Dixie (TM) plate, and a couple streamers.
�They say if you do something once, it�s called stupid. If you do it twice, it�s tradition.�
...Thus ends another silly socially constructed ceremony in a bowl of what I like to call Jason�s Life Soup.
Oh yea, and I signed up for the draft today.
*A three-week period designed for people to have a fun time at the end of the year. Some people intern in various jobs.
