He Wears A Diaper Thong
2001-04-30 - 4:11 p.m.
When everything is clean and perfect, it seems the natural tendency of Man to open a can of worms. And smear those worms on the walls, just to make a mess so that it can be cleaned up. �Why does it always rain one me? Was it because I lied when I was 17?� It must not have been...I don�t think I lied at all that year.
I was walking in the hallway, and Jenny�s boyfriend walked past me. He said hi, I said hi...but when he was at the edge of my vision, he twitched. I involuntarily went into an involuntary twich, a sort of �brace for impact� twitch. Then, seeing me twitch, he twiched, which caused my twitch to get ever-so-twichier...Over the course of a just couple seconds, we both sorta spazed out. And I now firmly believe that those soda machines clogg up the hallway much too much. But anyways, he said something to the effect that he thought I was carrying a prybar. I wasn�t carrying anything...in fact, one of my hands was in my pocket, and the other was on my backpack strapp. This all melts down to everyone being paranoid. I learned the other day that I came really close to having a hole punctured in my head. I�m not talking about earrings either...Joe walked past me carrying a stick with a nail in it sometime a couple months ago. He had planned to beat me repeatedly with it, for talking to Jenny (which doesn�t even make complete sense to Joe). I continued talking to her, knowing what he was doing but also knowing that Joe is a pansy and would never really want to get into a fight with me, even if he did have a stick. Maybe a gun, but not a stick. He dropped the stick when he was behind me and then left. What I didn�t know until yesterday was that he had it poised like a baseball bat behind me. (note of interruption: the thing that really concerns me is that Jenny had absolutely no change of emotion while she watched this happen.) Thus, I�m a little paranoid in thinking that Joe is, indeed, 62% of a homicidal maniac that I have to keep one eye on. Joe and Jenny�s boyfriend, who are, of course, separate people, are very paranoid in thinking that I�m out for some sort of revenge or plan to �steal jenny away�, as if she�s worth the stealing. And I�m really tired of these high school bullshyt politics.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I were mute. I spent an hour a couple nights ago with duct tape over my mouth, and people seemed to understand me fine. I put little black lips on the tape too, so it was allcute.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I were blind. And then, sometimes I am. I took my one-month contacts out for the first time in about two and a half months. I could barely see the floor to get back to my room.
Sometimes I wonder if Ghandi ever had problems getting into McDonald�s, with that �no shirt, no shoes, no service� policy.
