The Sum Of The Parts (aka The Hole Is Greater)
2001-04-07 - 4:54 p.m.
March25: Still no internet. I'm getting this strange feeling in my head. I think it's called boredom. Simon says: "The power of the human mind is magnificent, but dwarfed in comparison to the power of the stomach." I made thumbdragons today. Very cute little green lizards curling around my fin'ers. Pale skin makes a perfect canvas.
March27: My room smells like ass. Like Aaron's ass. And I wanna kill him for it, because I can't breathe enough to do my homework. He might be moving to a different room soon. And there will be much rejoicing. More thumbdragons, one on my tummy. *smiles* He's a eight-pack dragon.
There's this guy who was selling prom tickets. And he insisted someone else buy one. Held her down on the table and screamed at her to buy one. For some reason, this irritated me, and I wrapped an arm around his throat. "There are more civil ways to speak to people than that". Did I say? Bundle of nerves. Jenny's boyfriend said he was gladd that someone stood up. Nice guy, Jenny's boyfriend.
March28: Getting picked up by the cops in this town never ceases to cheer me up. Today I was stopped for jaywalking for the third time this year. Actually, I wasn't jaywalking...I was casually walking down the yellow line. They said next time there'd be a summons. What they'd summon, I know not, but it's sure to be big and hairy and wear suspenders (not unlike the cops). Then the same cop drove around the block before stopping me for smoking. I had to inform him that they were cloves, not cigarettes...but that made about as much difference to him as the jaywalking vs. yellow line walking thing. Then he drove me home, and we talked about how he was doing, and how my life was...I know most of the cops pretty well, especially since the 'events' of last year.
Sidenote: I took a windows (TM) sticker from one of the computers at school and firmly applied it to my forehead. Oddly enough, I went the whole day without crashing.
March30: Lucydear's birthday. Yay!
March31: "Where The Streets Have No Name" by U2 was voted as this year's graduation song. They marched to Phish last year.
It had been a while since I had a coke. I wonder if I was really living in-between then and now. Planning for Operation: Couch has commenced. Monday won't come for another nine days. I went snowflake hunting tonight. I laid out a classic tongue-trap for them, and they gathered around like flies to a buggzapper...mmm. The scenery was lovely too...very dry snow, all crystalline and flat...so flat. Breathtaking even. And as you took a breath, more snowflakes would flutter in...
April1: Jendear's birthday. Yay!
I woke up this morning and realized I need a life. Then again, I might have just wished that in my last life, and *this* is what I ended up with. I woke up too late for Operation: Couch to proceed, and no one was really organized enough as it was. Buried in homework and needing a breath of fresh air. I thought I had a coke yesterday, and maybe I really didn't. Maybe none of this really makes sense. Maybe.
April2: Call me crazy. I was hearing voices today; little whisperings out of my range of view. I heard them whisper over half-full glasses and expensive chinaware. I heard them beyond the crowd the way construction workers can hear each other while they're working. Everything else just got...filtered out. My mother has had a long history of hearing voices. They says it's genetic. Much like obesity, learning disabilities, and abusive tendencies. Allergies, alcoholism, homosexuality, intelligence...that way you stick your tongue out when opening a jar. All genetics. I say, fuck that. No codon strings gonna tell me who I am.
Lucy is talking to Mike. I realized just now that I do not like Mike. He's a good guy and all, but I refuse to like him because he's popular at my old school, and I, and not. I know it's all siC and twisted of me to think like that, but no world is big enough for two teddy bearish persons.
April3: I jumped in the snow. The snow was hard. I have a cut in my right side, but it's stopped bleeding already.
Aaron took a shower. Jon and I decided that this was such a momentous occasion that the whole wing had to be notified. Several people teared up when they heard the news, and (for once) it wasn't because of the gaseous fumes rolling down the hall. Feeling so inspired by our roommate�s new-found concern for hygiene, Jon and I were compelled to support his efforts though the joyous medium of applause. The other people in the wing were also waiting for Aaron to emerge. He opened the door. We clapped. He closed the door and retreated back into the bathroom. This was almost as funny as the night we convinced Aaron to take his shirt off and knock on someone's door at midnight. That kid has bigger bitchtits than Oprah. Gawd, I'd hate to wake up to that. But than again, I wake every morning and realize that I'm still living with him.
April4: I guess my dad was really depressed yesterday. And not without reason. He's at a dead-end job for most of the day to avoid his wife and two out of his five children (the other three have moved out). He's starring down the sawed-off barrel of a gun labeled "life after middle age". Worse, he's a homophobic on a search to discover his more feminine side. 'Course, if I had to slipp into bed with that thing he calls his wife on a daily basis, I'd probably be driven to sexual confusion too. So he walks into the bathroom, and takes a whole bottle of pills. Unfortunately, he made the tiny mistake of grabbing his psuedo-prozac instead of the Tylenol. Jesus, even Mum was a better attempist than him, and she used old-fashioned vanilla. What a failure he is. Needless to say, he's been sorta up in the clouds lately, saved by his wonderful ability to make dumb mistakes.
April6: Nemo has become the new dominant force in Mynd. I haven't been very expressive in the way of oddness lately, and haven't been flirting like madd. I am the John Doe that the other Inhabitants detest the thought of. I am that nobody that no one notices, until they get into a really humiliation situation, and simply wish that they were invisible. Invisibility, contrary to popular belief, is very real. It happens to people every day. You walk by them and their face is lost in the crowd. And you can't notice that they're invisible because if they were noticed, they would be visible again. Millions of people could be walking past you without somuchas brushing your coattails. Neverwhere was an awesome book. Invisibility as a contagious agent.
