fuzzy television sets with phallic protrusions on their heads
2000-09-05 - 11:13:35
The rabid breasts, man! The rabid breasts!
�Don�t take any wooden nickels, when you sell your soul...� -Eels
And my stoopid roommate will bow down, and gain an affinity for the Teletubbies...this is the word of the god of PBS. He likes Po now. Tomorrow I�ll try to throw a little Tinky Winky in there, maybe some Dipsy. Hahahaha.
And that got me thinking...what do the Teletubbies do? According to PBS, Teletubbies is for �a new generation of television viewers�the youngest and most impressionable...�. Now look at this combination of statements by PBS:
�Teletubbies makes liberal use of repetition, large movement, bright colors, and deliberate pace to nurture and reinforce the development of children's listening and thinking skills.�
�The Teletubbies speak a play language which accurately mirrors the early speech of a one-year-old child.�
I dunno about you, but I wouldn�t subject my kid to anything that reinforces the speech of a one-year-old in him/her. And before the age of one, most children are not interested with television. They act like cats on catnip. Drooling cats.
Furthermore, �Teletubbies is designed to encourage interactivity between the program, the young child, and the adult caregiver/parent.� First Problem: the child and the program do not need to be encouraged to �interact�. Children interact with their televisions too much already. Problem The Second: I do not know any adults that are attracted to the Teletubbies program. But if I did, I would call them demented-linguistically-challenged individuals. Problem C: How can any television show enhance the bond between a parent and child? �C�mon son, whatd�ya say we go down to the living room and kill our brain cells with public television.�...gawd, what has this country become, when �quality time with the family� is watching your favorite episode of Real World (TM)?!?!
Sienote: I would just like to say one last thing...If I was running for a political office, and my opposition called me an asshole on the air, I�d make sure s/he apologized...lots.
