bedtime story for luce
2000-08-24 - 23:24:36
There was once a knight in the farr away land of Youtook. He was a fine knight, a splendorous knight. Gold armour and all that. This knight was kind hearted, and sang eloquently, and had but one love. He loved a squiregirl who had come to the knight�s training facility (which of course, was not really owned by the knight, but a corporate division of dukes, who spent all day doing something which they called �administration�). The knight spent a short time around his previously distanced lover, and they eventually became friends. And recently, the squire has taken to following him everywhere, and seems to have the same feelings for him. This story, however, is about the knight�s roommate at the training facility, a fellow knight named Dumbass. Dumbass was an especially poor knight. He spent all his days fratonizing in fraternity houses, associating in association houses, and flirting in flirt houses. This knight was particularly fond of the womenfolk of the village, and used his knightly title to impress and woo them. And one day, Dumbass took a look around, and noticed his life was very confused. He realized that he was very confused. His friends were mostly girls, with whom he flirted, and flirted, and occasionally flirted with. He did not truly know his friends, and more importantly, he did not really know himself. Who was he? Why? And what was his quest? He had forgotten it all. And Dumbass became very depressed with this realization, as is the way of most realizations. But he drowned his sorrow with the only thing he knew of...flirting with his femm friends. He went first to Virginia, the queen of a nearby city. Virginia was fair of face and hair, and a very good softball player. For a long time, Dumbass wanted to formally court Virginia, but it was not to be, because there were other girls Dumbass simply could not turn away from. And if he was to have Virginia, he would have to give up the flirting relationships that he has with his other friends. Then he traveled by horse to see Jystla, a princess who owned a small inn in his town. She was very fair of body, and astoundingly flexible. But Dumbass found with both of these women that he did not actually talk to them. He would say something, and the words would dribble out of his mouth like hot molasses, but he never truly �talked� to them. It was just talk. There was no inner meanings, no deep thought process involved. So he rode on. Dumbass next encountered Diadee, a pole-dancer from the western isles. And she was plain of body, but more exciting than the other women visited thus farr. She had an abundance of energy, and a kinky mind with which to tempt and entertains knights such as he. But Dumbass knew that it was mostly an act, to get him to fork over a few sixpence in exchange for her company and �hospitality�. So he saddled again, riding back up to the top of a hill in the village, whence he came to the house of Gullunda. She was plain as pudding made on Thursday, but Gullunda was funny. Gullunda liked to laugh, and tickle, and lived for no day but the day she was in (which, unfortunately, was usually Thursday). And here, Dumbass thought he had found something, for he liked this girl even though she was not as beautiful as the others. But still, there lacked something between them. There was still very little real conversation to be had. Dumabass, in search of such a stimulation, rode back to his own house. There, he was informed that his mother had died two years prior, but he was too busy caught up with girls to pay any attention to her when she was siC. This saddened Dumbass very much, because there were several psychologists that thought he was on an inner quest to find his �motherly persona�, and here he seemed to have lost it again. But just then, Dumbass heard a sound...a melodious sound, a sound of angels signing in his conk shell. And he turned, and saw a fair maiden. Fair of hair, and smile, and body. She was both flexibe and humorous. She was an angel with a touch of evil intent. Dumbass eventually regained his senses, and recognized this woman as his chidhood friend, Alexandria. He approached her, and they conversed. They taked with hidden intentions, and jokingy bad punns, and metaphors of a sorts. Dumbass had found what he had quested for. He remembered what his purpose was. A carriage trotted down the road, heading south. It was time for Alexandria to leave, even though they had just realized their love for each other. For what seemed like forever, Dumabass was miserable. Eventually, he was granted a short leave from the headmaster of the �administration� and traveled south, in a search to find Alexandria...THE END
I am such a Dumbass.
