*cough cough*
2000-08-09 - 21:32:39
'Would you turn your head and cough please?'
Yea, surething. I really don't understand yearly physicals. Yes, I'm in good health. In fact, I haven't been sick in nearly two years. With the exception of chronically bloodshot eyes. But anyways, I do not understand these physicals. Most importantly, I don't understand why a femm doctor can do my whole physical, but they bring in a masc doctor for the hernia test. Evidently, some guys are uncomfortable with a femm doctor grabbing their genitalia. But does it REALLY matter? I mean, whoever it is, they're gonna be a trained physician. And who says that there aren't gay masc doctors? So even if you request a masc, you'll never be absolutely sure if he 'enjoys' the procedure. And the bottom line is that it shouldn't matter. It's a precaution for your safety. So just get it over with, and stop being to pissy about who is on the other end of your 'monster mac truck'. (This paragraph, of course, has nothing to do with physicians. It has to do with blowjobs...*long pause* HAHA...no, really, it was about physicians.)
Mall again today. I realized today that I'm very easy to spot in a mall, and I like that. I'm the one with the pricetag. 'Special Offer, $12.99'. But this is typical. And so is the 'try me' sticker on my shirt. And the 'All Bottoms, Half Price!' tag stuck to the rear of my pants. Oh, and joy of joys! I saw someone at the mall. One of my sort-of friends from school; you know, the type you smoke weed with, but wouldn't want to spend too much time around. But it was still a PERSON. The first person I've come into contact with this whole summer. I just wish I hadn't met her in a women's clothing store. It could have been a toy store, record store, anything. But it was a clothing store, because I was humoring my sisters' shopping habits. Ah well.
Have you ever sat down for an extended period of time, and stopped thinking? You look at one spot in space, not a wall or object, and just clear your head, until you cease thinking. I call the state of mind 'being a carrot', because it resembles putting yourself in a 'vegetable' state. Eventually, your vision becomes colourless (as in The Wall Dream). Well, I found out today why it is that my vision goes colourless. When you look at something, you believe that you are looking straight at it, and not moving your eyes. Not so. The human eye moves slightly (in a twitching motion) all the time. It does this to compensate for 'holes' in your vision, because there are veins and other such bits of tissue over some cones and rods, especially in the back of the eyeball. By moving rapidly, Your eye is given more information to send to the brain, which then pieces all of the pictures together to make one picture of what you see. When this 'carrot state' is reached, I have stopped thinking to such an extent that my mind is no longer telling my eyes to keep moving, or even tell my brain what they are seeing. The result? Inability to see, even though my eyes are wide open. Consequently, it's hard to really notice this state of mind, because you have to 'stop thinking' to reach it. Very interesting.
