*baby cones*
2000-08-03 - 21:11:43
I got ice cream with Jessica last night. Very cute.
*picture of a Jason, in black curly hair (for it was black that night), bloodshot eyes (for no real reason, I've been clean for a month at least), and a black trench coat (Jessica) walking up to an ice-cream-place, just as they're about to close*
*picture of that Jason buying a baby cone of vanilla, with jimmies*
*smiles muchly*
That is why I bought Jessica in the first place...because everyone has this misconception that all trench-coat wearers are gunn-totting, racist, car-chasing bastards. And then there's me. Mr. Cute. Yea, I occasionally chase cars, but I will never, ever, 'tote a gat', and I'm farr from racist.
I have a theory. Before you ask, I must say that it is as ludicrous as my other theories: that water is only wet on the surface, that all mushrooms are upside-down, or that we are all simply a collection or tiny rocks. My new theory is stated thus: Energetic thought is passed from a spectator's eyes when said spectator spectates. This energy is then converted into higher levels of seratonin in the brain, accompanied by a general 'youthfulness'. If this were true, then it could be said that the more a person is looked at by other people, the more youthful that person is.
(I should define the difference between youth and youngness. While your age varies in a linear fashion, your 'youth' varies more-or-less independently of your true age. Youth is defined more by the age that you 'act' rather than the actual age you 'are'.)
This theory is supported by models and actors who have been out in the spotlight too long. Harrison Ford and Sean Conery are prime examples of youthful people who have retained most of their youth, even as they physically aged. Because these actors are seen (indeed, gawked and stared at), they receive more of this energy, extending their youthfulness. Another support for this theory is the Chinese. There are lotsa people in China. So many that it maybe complicated to some people to schedule their own 'me' time. And the Chinese, consequently, are some of the most youthful people on the planet.
Let us suppose, then, that there are two starr-crossed lovers, who sit down and stare into each other's eyes 24-7. They would show the unavoidable signs of aging, but would still be as rambunctious as they were when they first sat down. They would still have that special twinkle in their eyes, and spring in their *ahem* step. (But I'm sure they would eventually get tried of what the other individual's eyes look like.)
If this theory is true, we are definitely doing something wrong in America. There are farr too many that chose to live alone, slowly slipping into the hot tub of elderlyness, to be wrinkled and motionless, raisin-style. It may be due to this bachelorism that there is such a high population of older persons in this country.
Do not worry, all is not lost. Ordinary people may keep their youth as easily as any actor. People have a tendency to look at attractive people; so the more attractive you are, the more youthful you will stay. But attractiveness is not nearly as effective in retaining youth as craziness. Think about it; are you going to pay more attention to an attractive person walking down the street, or a psycho in a beanie hat screaming profanities at his ice-cream? Above all, do not hesitate to have sword fights with sausages on Tuesdays, and make cloured ice cubes with a good friend. Lastly, sleep with as many people as possible. This increases your chances of being seen, even while you are asleep.
god bless Walter Matthau.
