"and god said to me: ...oh damnit, what did he say?"
2000-07-11 - 10:07:12
I believe that we should pass a law in this country which requires all soup to be stone soup. This would eliminate a considerable number of people too stoopid to notice they were choking on a rock. (Surprisingly, there are far too many that fit in said category.) It would also eliminate some children on disabilities, who would otherwise be living off the government and povertizing their parents in clinical bills.
Later:
Went to Wal-Mart. They moved the "implements of destruction" (wherein are located the black coffee pots, hatchets, electric drills, sledgehammers, axes, and pry-bars) section last time, but I found it today. It's very funni to walk around a store, and watch people get out of your way. And if I move faster, they move faster. It's a nice way to make people get their exercise, especially considering the type of people who regularly shop there. I should have brought my cap gun. It annoys me very much that they put items beyond the counter, because you can't go backwards in line to buy it, and it makes no sense to go through the store again. It's bad marketing. Another thing that annoys me is the stoopidity of the people in the store. (i.e.: "...attention Wal-Mart shoppers, it is now 8:45..." *five minutes pass, while she calculates* "...Wal-Mart will be closing in 15 minutes...") They evidently don't like it if you play with your lighter in the store. I have never heard of a walmart doing a "security sweep". I think they just wanted to feel me up, and they weren't really looking for stolen items. Anyways, thet's Wal-Mart for ya.
Even Later:
There are just too many rules I want to make. I have decided to take over the world, as a dictator who will set up a working system of government, and then hand his power over to the system when he develops amnesia from eating one too many Coke cans, and chokes on a bowl of stone soup. As my first order of business, I would make Skinnerism (aka: behaviorism) taught in schools. It's the only branch of psychology that makes real sense, and gives reasons for why people are the way they are. Secondly, people would be able to kill themselves. It's stoopid not to let people kill themselves in the privacy of their own country. The door should always be open, so that people would feel better about life, or not live at all. Babies would be illegal. If everyone had to get they're baby from an orphanage, they would more appreciate the value of having a kid, and people would have to pass a course to get a license for it. Not to mention the tax you could put on children. Basic drugs should also be legalized. If people are mellowed on shrooms, they are easier to control. If they're baked on weed, they make the nation more entertaining. And if they're smokin' crack, they'll die before they can revolt against you. I would force everyone to goto boot camp in my army, so that I could draft anyone at a moment's notice, and the general populous would keep in shape. I would run a secret revolt against myself, to know who the terrorists in my own country are. I would create a council of people that could declare war on any country that was being bitchy, or any organization that they thought had too much power, or on a single person, "just because". I would legalize porn (and declare war on anyone who made siC porn, like the animal/human things, gag). The only thing porn sites teach you is how to hack a site, and I don't want my citizens hacking until they are in boot camp, and I can be sure they are not terrorists. I would declare war on any person that publicly apologizes for 2000 years of tyranny and bloodshed; that's just too stoopid to tolerate. The way I see it, tyranny and bloodshed is okay, as long as you don't bring attention to it. (Hey, the media makes a big thing about 11 people dying because of prejudice, at the same time we are bombing people because they have Ethnical Difference Problems (EDP) in their own country.) I would make guns illegal. That would force people to be more creative, and kill each other with umbrellas. It would also give my army more direct control. I would not use nuclear weapons; instead, I would develop biological weapons, and threaten to destroy entire nations with it. Who cares if you loose a few cities, if your enemy is completely wiped out in two weeks. I would get rid of digital clocks, because I can't stand it when people can't use very basic mathematics. And I would also put all of my important decisions online, so that anyone could vote on what I ought to do, even though I may not use their advice. All this got me to thinking that even people who want to take over the world are stoopid. Most people want to take over the world for funn. I just want to make a few much-needed changes.
